Friday, August 20, 2010

I want to move in with my dad?

Hi I'm 20 years old and when i was 9, my parents divorced. It was probably one of the worst experiences in my life. Basically lots of drama, more than normal i think. My mom one time got a kitchen knife and put it to her stomach and almost commited suicide in front of us, and then fainted. She says my dad used to hit her but i must have blocked those memories out because i don't remember them or ever seeing bruises on her. After that, my sisters and i moved in with our grandma for the next year. Took my dad about that whole time to come see us, he said my mom didn't want him to see us and i believe him. She always said bad things about him in front of us and used to say ';Do you want to move in with your dad!?'; to scare us, and it was scary. She used to make us feel so guilty for wanting to see him.





After the first visit, he didn't come see us for a long time. When he did, we found out he was married to someone else and she had children already, i always thought and in the back of my mind sometimes still do that he loved them more than he loved us. Well about 3 years ago, he started coming to see us more and more, really often and I've gotten to know him better and he's been nice to us. His wife was nice to us too, but sometimes i feel the only reason he was seeing us is because her children are adults now and moved out.





Anyways, those feelings of deep guilt come back whenever i think about wanting to move in with my dad. I know they're because my mom has sort of brainwashed us, so I try to get over them. How do i let my dad know that i want to move in with him, and how do i know if he even wants me to move in with him. I'm tired of living with my mom, i just dropped out of college and I feel like **** already and she's adding to it. I'm going to be living on my own anyways in about a year and i just want to live with my dad for a little bit of my life.I want to move in with my dad?
Your mom sounds bad, but your dad sounds most likely worse. I'd say get a job ASAP and get your own apartment like yesterday!I want to move in with my dad?
dude my mom threatened me the same way, it made me hate my dad but then i realized hes a better option than living with my corrupt middle class mom and step dad

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You are an adult now.Either get a job and your own place or go back to school or join the


military.You don't need to live with your Dad,that ship has sailed..You can visit


your Father all the time but its time to grow up.The past is past.You need to get


past all the divorce crap.Your Mom was dead wrong to threaten you kids with


living with your father.But there is some reason she turned that sour on him so


don't just dismiss the fact that he may have beat her and you never knew about


it.Most men do not hit a woman where it shows. be careful.
At 20 you need to be looking ahead and planning your own life instead of trying to re-live your teens by moving in with your dad and his new family. Chances are, adding you to the mix will be an inconvenience to you and a burden to them.


Continue to make plans to hang out with your dad from time to time, perhaps bring something along to contribute to holiday meals.
I think getting to know your dad better would be great. i would bring the question up like ';hey dad, what do you think of me moving in with you for a while? i really like when you come over, but i want to spend some more time with you before i go back to collage(or get a full time job, whichever you choose).'; If he says no, then just except it. if he says yes, then pack you suitcase. i had to tell my mom i was going vegetarian, which was really hard. i know its small compared to this, but i have confidence that you can do it. ;) good luck! i hope this helped!

I cant get her out of my head! what have you done to get ';her'; out of your head?

theres this girl, lets call her jane, and i have liked jane on and off (but mostly on) for about 3 years. she started to like me last year in august, and we finally went out. she is basicaly the parfect girl, nice, funny, smart, easy to talk to, and last but not least, hotter than any other girl i know. of course, jane also moved in august, to a city about 3 hours from where i live. we kinda kept our thing goin, the best we could, hung out, watched movies, etc. all the normal couple stuff. but it slowly deterierated just because it was too hard to make it work with the 3 hour travel time.


i go t a small school, so my girl selection is limited, and i have no free time with sports to meet girls from other schools. so whenever i start to have any kind of relationship with another girl, memories of jane and how perfect she is pop into my brain, and it f**ks up my new relationship.


who else has had something like this happen, and what did you do to get ';her'; out of your mindI cant get her out of my head! what have you done to get ';her'; out of your head?
why dont u go out with her again. and u guys can go hang out in a town in between ur towns? so that way she only has to drive a hour and a half and u only have to drive an hour and a half. and then when ur old enough move somewhere together.

Is this as good as the last?

There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for ';Termination without Cause';.


Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations! ) :





Operator: ';Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?';


Caller: ';Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. ';


Operator: ';What sort of trouble??';


Caller: ';Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.';


Operator: ';Went away?';


Caller: ';They disappeared. ';


Operator: ';Hmm So what does your screen look like now?';


Caller: ';Nothing.';


Operator: ';Nothing??';


Caller: ';It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.';


Operator: ';Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??';


Caller: ';How do I tell?';


Operator: ';Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??';


Caller: ';What's a sea-prompt?';


Operator: ';Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?';


Caller: ';There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.';


Operator: ';Does your monitor have a power indicator??';


Caller: ';What's a monitor?';


Operator: ';It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??';


Caller: ';I don't know.';


Operator: ';Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??';


Caller: ';Yes, I think so.';


Operator: ';Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.


Caller: ';Yes, it is.';


Operator: ';When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??';


Caller: ';No.';


Operator: ';Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.';


Caller: ';Okay, here it is.';


Operator: ';Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.';


Caller: ';I can't reach.';


Operator: ';Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??';


Caller: ';No.';


Operator: ';Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??';


Caller: ';Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.';


Operator: ';Dark??';


Caller: ';Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.





Operator: ';Well, turn on the office light then.';


Caller: ';I can't.';


Operator: ';No? Why not??';


Caller: ';Because there's a power failure.';


Operator: ';A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.


Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??';


Caller: ';Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.';


Operator: ';Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.';


Caller: ';Really? Is it that bad?';


Operator: ';Yes, I'm afraid it is.';


Caller: ';Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??';


Operator: ';Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!! !';Is this as good as the last?
I love it girl good job because you really did hit the spot with one girl i just can not stop laughing at your joke because i love it somuch girl and high 5 because you really did nail this one way to go I'm so pround of you because i really do love this joke this is the most funniest thing that i had ever in my life and good looking out girl this really is a good one and thanks for making me laugh lol 10/10 because i should did need it.





http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>


Yes, this link is about ';Yasmeen';.(or whatever her name is today)





.Is this as good as the last?
hahahaha! omg thats really good!
Hahaha i found that quite funny
Firing was too good for him or her!


However, the verbal exchange was hilarious! 10/10! (at least until the last line, which was just mean...)





Thanks for the laugh! Yes, this is just as good as--or better--than the last one! A star for you!
i dunno if its as good as the last, but its funny! lol
Haha, very funny. :D
ive gone bozz eyed reading that but it was s1te sh1t sh1t bet your on west side of the pond that was terrible
that was funny fair play
LOL hahahaha this is one the funniest ones i hv ever heard...i cant think to imagine it actually happened!...man o man!

Please do my animal cruelty analysis. There is no right answer. So DON'T vote. I wanna see your views.?

1. In lots of cultures many people are experiencing past lives of other individuals or animals. What animal do you associate yourself with and why?








2. There are many different types of animal cruelty reported. What type are you mostly familiar with.








3. Which types of cruelty are you disgusted by and why?








4. Do you agree with the statement of animals having feelings, emotions, and are able to think? Why or Why not.








5. Do you have a pet? If yes what kind and how did you get it.











6. Do you consider stray animals neglected? Why or why not.











7. Are animals supposed to be used for food? Why or why not.











8. Are animals made for fur? Why or why not.











9. Do you think people who commit cruelty deserve punishment and if yes what kind?











10. Do you think urban/slum areas highlight/encourage animal cruelty and/or dog fighting?


11. Why or why not.











12. Do you think it鈥檚 a cultural/ethnic/lifestyle group thing to be involved with animal/dog fighting? Why or why not.




















13. If yes to the above question how do you feel about bull fighting and slaying the bull after the fight is done and the other Hispanic sport of cockfighting?











14. What animal rights group do you associate yourself with? Why











15. Do u think there should be more effort to helping animals in need?











16. In Japan they go whaling and they hunt for dolphins. In other places they hunt endangered animals for game or profit. How do you feel about that?











17. Do you think people should be involved with passing laws against animal cruelty? Why or why not.











18. If you said no to question 17 above, do you think it鈥檚 all right to have the punishment be a misdemeanor and not a felony even thought it鈥檚 an act of violence?








19. If you said yes to question 17 above, do you think laws should be heavier and moved up to be a felony than a misdemeanor? And also have stricter limitation on adopting animals?











20. Do you agree with animals testing? Why or why not.











21. If no to question 21, do you think that testing should only be giving to humans?











22. Have you ever heard of Puppy Mills? How and what do you feel about them?








23. If you鈥檙e against animal cruelty how do you feel about artist and their artwork representation of stopping cruelty?











24. How do you feel about Celebrities spreading the word and going against fur wearing and animal violence?














25. If your not against animal cruelty and/or don鈥檛 care for it would change your mind after seeing the facts, pictures, and spending time with a neglected and/or abused animal?








26. Have you ever seen animal cruelty with your own eyes? If yes what did you see and did you do anything to stop it.











27. If no to question 26, what would you have done if you witnessed it?Please do my animal cruelty analysis. There is no right answer. So DON'T vote. I wanna see your views.?
1.A finch. because they are free. Small, yet great at social situations including parenting.


2. neglect, physical abuse


3. All kinds because animals are innocent creatures and they do not deserve the kind of treatment that some abusers give them.


4. Absolutely, they become attached to their owners, they love, they depend on us.


5. I have 2 dogs, one which I bought and the other I adopted. I have a beta fish, 2 mice and a leopard gecko that I bought,


6. Depends on how they became stray. If some one left them after caring for them for the main part of their life then yes. But if they were born that way then no.


7. I feel they are because it is like part of the cycle of nature. Other animals eat other animals, and we as humans are considered top of the food chain, so technically we can eat any animals. Of course we are intelligent enough to choose what we eat and I fully understand that some people are not comfortable with eating animals.


8. Yes. Not sure what kind but something that will likely keep them from doing it again in the future. Maybe even some counseling.





This is really long so I am going to quite for now and try to continue again later. Hope these are useful for your study.Please do my animal cruelty analysis. There is no right answer. So DON'T vote. I wanna see your views.?
Sorry took me so long. This is the only way I could figure to add more. Seems I skiped 8 so the answer for 8 is actually for 9.


8. Yes I think the animals were made for fur back when that was the only way the human race could warm themselves. But these days it just seems unneccisary and cruel

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10%26amp;11 not really it may be more common in these area's because of the people that live there.


12. yes because some cultures do not consider animal cruelty a problem.


13. they are a cultrual tradition and in that respect, i respect them among that culture, but would never take part in them myself

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I have absolutely nothing positive in my mind right now...?

Im a 15 year old guy...and alot has been going on lately for me and its been confuseing...there was this girl i really care about more than your average crush...than theres school and family and so many other things going through my mind...things were starting to become brighter withh all of those things listed above...than out of no where it happened again...see i have a really negative outlook on life...





i dont see much of the positive things unless i have a positive song on and than i start to see peoples smiles...but i cant have music on all the time...so basically im becomeing more and more negative as the days go by...





and this has all happend before in the end i started babbling on about the darkness comeing to take me over and i was locked in my houe aside from occasional trips to the video store for the entire summer...im noticeing it happen again im avoiding my friends...i have everyone except the girl i really like and her brother blocked on msn...





and the part that gets me paranoid is the memories begin to torture me ill be sitting here and ill remember something...like my old bestfriends who moved and i start to get really upset than more and more flash in my mind till i just want to keel over...i dont have much to be positive about in life right now..





im not popular so not many friends, i cant get a girlfriend no matter how hard i try because im to messed up in the head to interest any girl... my dads ashamed of me and constantly trys to control what i enjoy and what i do with my life...sure he's aloud to care about school...but when im worried about him seeing me looking at a tradeing card or something because he'll think im being childish its a tad far...





everyone and i mean everyone disrespects me cant even sit on the bus without someone behind me i dont even know doing something to embaress me...and family does it to only they yell or dont exactly show themselves very much in my life...basically im alone...im alone while i sit here and pick at myself till i have nothing left...i hate myself...i really do...i have absoloutly no qualities i like about myself...if i was another person right now id probally shoot me...i hounestly cant tell you a trait i like about myself...





and because of that if i make a mistake i not only get picked at by everyone around me but i pick at myself over and over till it gets to the point where i start becomeing strange ill act out these twitches and such for attention even though i dont want to i just want to be normal...i start to scream and attack people laugh over stupid things...swallow quarters and fall over drueling...i wont stop till either someone makes me snap out of it by makeing me think about my actions...considering the fact my mind shuts down or i hit my head of something no matter how much i dont want to spazz ojut like that once i pick at myself till a certain point it just happens and i forget who i am...this all happens because i tear myself to peices on a daily bases and i have absoloutly nothing in my mind to find positive...





all i am is this shroud of negativity no wonder im not well liked i just kill everyones mood or make them angry...and than i just get mad at myself for being liek that in the first place...its a constant cycle and it wont go away...





my head hurts right now because its comeing...that metaphorical darkness is comeing and im going to drift away again...i dont know what to do...please give me something to work with heere im gettin paranoidI have absolutely nothing positive in my mind right now...?
Wow, that must be a tough position to be in. I like the porn idea (kinda funny) but I think there are some simple things you can do that would turn yourself around.





First it sounds like you just need someone to anchor you into reality. Someone to talk to on a regular basis or to just vent to without judgement and without criticism. It seems like you have some negative things going on in your life that may lead to the negative thoughts. Parents at home, your own self-image, school, family, etc can get overwhelming after a while. Do you keep a journal or diary? I know it may sound silly but a lot of times people bottle up emotions until they explode or overflow causing ';the darkness'; as you call it. Writing things down may be a simple way to let some of those overwhelming emotions out so you don't constantly think about them.





Next you can make a list of good things in your life. This one is kinda tough because with your mindset right now you may not see many good things, but trust me, they are there. Start with simple things like eating your favorite cereal or being able to get on the internet (and look up that porn). You still talk with this smokin' hot girl that you like so that is good, too. Keep trying to add to that list and review it every day.





Finally my quick advice to you is to find ways to release endorphins in your brain. Endorphins are the brain's ';Happy Chemical'; and can really change your mood over time. I'll attach a link of 10 good ways to get out those endorphins WITHOUT USING DRUGS! Don't do drugs. Instead smile. Even if you don't feel like smiling, there is a world of study out there that suggests that if you smile for about five minutes straight you will trick your brain into being happy. Kind of like muscle memory.





You can also do good things for others. It is called the Do-good feel-good phenomenon. Basically the more you make people feel good, the better you will feel.





Anyway, I hope that helps. It is good that you are trying to get a hold on this dark feeling and negative mind set that you have. That is a step in the right direction.I have absolutely nothing positive in my mind right now...?
The yardstick adopted by you for such self-analysis may be old. That may be the reason.
watch some porn or let laid orr....both!
First of all don't hate yourself. We all go through rough patches and it seems like you think you're going through more than a rough patch. Try looking at the bright side of things. At least you're alive and well. Why don't you start there and build from that. It's an awful thing to say you hate yourself. It's basically saying you hate God for making you this way. Look at your situation compared to those in Haiti right now who've lost their families or their whole ways of life. You're real lucky to be a healthy individual right now - embrace it. Thank God for it. And just work through the pain you're going through now, but you'll be so much happier when you're out of school.
To the contrary, you apparently can write about your feelings and doing it very well. All what you mentioned is sometimes tough to deal especially when you can not share with some one who is close to you or can understand. I grew up in a very rural area no friends or neighbors. You are lucky at least you have some good MUSIC to change your mood. I ignore people I don't care about and have my own things I think is important to me. Those are the things that make you who you are. Don't let others try to get you down. So have you ever thought of writing novels? Have you ever read any Dean Koontz books? He has a neat way of expressing himself through other character's. check it out (Odd Thomas is one of my favorite, He even has a highly Intelligent dog In a few of his books) Many writers have started just like you. Try to write a short story about a day of your life, you could change the story so you end up as a hero, a lover or a secret agent. what ever you want, you can find it in your story. Then read it over and correct the spelling, change a few words and presto you have a short story. I hope it all works out, If not, don't be afraid to ask for professional help.
I feel the exact same way about everything you just said right now. There is nobody in the world right now who respects me and I get talked down to all the time by the people I call my friends. I'm the disappointment of my family because my grades just don't add up to my parent's insanely high standards and I've rejected my religion.


First off, don't hate yourself, you're awesome just the way you are and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.


Second, don't vie for attention in that way, you're only hurting yourself.


Third, the day will come when you can leave all this behind you and move and have a new start.


If you wanna talk, feel free to email me.

What is it that you wish to achieve in the onset of the rest of the coming year????

Ok, so it is June, meaning something to some, little to many, and a lotto a few, with six months until the tidings of the holidays is there any one or more things that you want to see accomplished and let's keep our children and families out of this one, unless you must...this is a PERSONAL BEST question.......so what is on your mind???? Prior to the year 2008 what is it that you want to see happen for you, case in point, I needed to move, and I have...there are many more things...inclusive certain books, learning a new language, travelling to another country and the list goes on....I am presently looking for a retreat of somekind that has NO restrictions on it.....No I will NOT be bird watching on a junket of bingo players, but I am sure that you catch my drift here,....hence what is it for you?????


(I STILL WANT SPELL CHECK IN THIS AIR TIGHT BOX)


I am on a mission to complete many thngs and they are all in motion....glad to say that.....how about you?????What is it that you wish to achieve in the onset of the rest of the coming year????
This June is the last of my twenties, so a lot of reflection for me this month. What have my first thirty years been, and what can my next thirty be? Seems that up until now, I have not had my own dreams, desires, or even simple preferences. My identity has been lost in parents,friends, boyfriends, husband, children, and career. My mission for the next six months is to take time for myself and figure out how I can enjoy these next thirty years.What is it that you wish to achieve in the onset of the rest of the coming year????
ya ok i want to finish school
I want to cure myself of procrastination and stop wasting my time listening to B.S.
yes, a lot of things with travel being number 1
I see we have our thinking caps on tightly today, Ms. E!





What I would like to achieve is to finish my second novel by years end.
to do all i can to get right with the LORD, so that i can get rea


dy to leave here in the very near future.
The way I look at life I believe make it good and make it simple. I tend to exercise like crazy but I love a few cold beers after. This year I would like to simply give up most of the beer. All of the others things I want to do will be easier.
1) financial outlook ..brightens





2) we FINALLY get to purchase a home





Good Question ..I pray that Father God helps you achieve what you hope for in the next 6 months
be happy if I make to x-mas*!*
First and foremost, I am determined to walk by myself again. I'm working on it a little at a time. It's very difficult, but I won't give up until I finally lose this walker, and take back some semblance of my normal life. I hope to be walking in the woods by autumn!





I have a few lesser goals, mostly having to do with my lack of computer acumen. I have people who are doing their best to help me with that.





I appreciate them all, and I do feel blessed!
Well, I'll be going on a trip later this month, and I hope this goes okay. I'd like to do a bit more travelling this year, get my GED, and start going to college this fall without many problems. Other than that, I hope I can just be happy.
I just want to catch up on the bills. Finding a good job would help!
I need to finish all my unpacking and really get settled, finish getting the other house ready to sell and sell it. Come out of retirement and get a job (just long enough to help build the nest egg) Paint the inside of this house, lose 15 pounds, and finally get a little rest.


Sidebar: For a nice retreat try a spirit walk with the Native Americans in New Mexico. Does wonders for the soul and peace of mind.
buy a home on the oregon coast


continue my eduation


lose another 15 pounds-down another 2 pounds since last week!


save and plan my trip to costa rica


build my clientele even more


love.....
do good in my a levels (althought thats virtually impossible methinks!) and get into my first choice uni.


if i dont, literaly my world's gonna end :-(
To discover the whereabouts of a couple of past business acquaintances to exact my revenge upon them with extreme prejudice.

Have you ever had your significant other to tell you about yourself in a bad way?

Meaning have they just told you about yourself to the point where it hurt you to the core and afterwards you felt emotionless? All you could do is cry but no other feelings? Whether it was true or not what they said to you about yourself it still hurt you. They say nothing good about you but can come up with a millions things to say bad about you to your face. In their mind, that's how they feel about you but you yourself know that is just not true. You sit and listen and try to get a word in in your defense but to no avail. Two days later, you are still feeling indifferent towards the person. What do you do? Do you move on as if nothing was said or do you confront the person on the things he said that hurt? My thing is, I don't want to rehash things that he said because I just want to deal with it in my own way by just not having anything to say to him right now. It's like I don't even want to be with him right now. I just want to walk out and stay gone for awhile. This is how much the conversation has me thinking. Is it good for your mate to just always come straight out and tell you about yourself cause it can put some distance into the relationship. Who has gone thru this and how did u handle it?Have you ever had your significant other to tell you about yourself in a bad way?
unfortunately once something hurtful is said its hard to move past it. some people abuse u when they are angry, but once its said u can't take it back even if u show remorse. because it causes the other person to begin to feel bad about themselves. once u begin to feel badly about yourself and who u are, its pretty much over with that person because u realize he meant it and believed it.Have you ever had your significant other to tell you about yourself in a bad way?
There is a name for these kinds of people.


Narcissist.


You are in an abusive relationship.


Abuse always escalates. Emotional and Verbal abuse is how it STARTS.


This is conditioning you to allow him to treat you with disrepect.


Research key words.


Make an educated decision based on facts, not what you feel for him.
I went through too many years of this kind and along with other kinds of abuse. It took me too long to finally walk away! It was years ago, and it shattered my self esteem. I still find myself thinking why I even let their hurtful words touch my heart and mind.





Don't put up with it. Your better than that
If your significant other has only bad things to say about you,why are you with him?I would rather be with someone who builds me up instead of drag me down.Make your choice,stay and put up with it or go.Is he your judge,jury and hangman?You give him too much power honey.Seriously.
I would examine carefully the things he said for truth. If they are untrue I would question why he said such hurtful things to me, and if true, why he said them in such a hurtful way. Eventually, I would address it with him.
You should be more specific. You are basically anonymous on here, so details will be the only way to get some advice. I'd like to help, but you are making it difficult. Details please
Geez, drama drama drama!!!
Choose Christ Jesus as your savior.





Without him there is no life
I'm sorry that you are feeling so hurt right now. It's called emotional abuse, and it's wrong. No one should ever put someone down or say spiteful things to hurt someones feelings, especially the one who says they love you.


That being said, I think it's happened to almost everyone. People can be rude and ';crazy-like'; when they are upset..still it's no excuse.





You need to talk to him, explain how hurt you are, and that you just need some time to cope. If he truly sorry and sure that it will never happen again I would forgive and forget. If its's done on a day to day basis I would leave him. You deserve to be happy in life. Spouses are meant to compliment each other not drag each or tear each other down.


I would even consider couples counseling.
Every relationship that I've had has been the same way. Now I'm in a different kind of relationship were my bf always tells me before he says something about me that he is not jumping on me %26amp; I've


always been afraid to say anything for fear of them leaving me. Now it's a new kind of relationship %26amp; I love it. We have had a stormy start but, as long as we can talk things out we will be ok. Love really doesn't hurt. I'm able to say what I think %26amp; not be afraid that he will walk out on me. To thy own self be true. You are a beautiful person always remember that %26amp; it's his loss not yours.
I think that it is okay to take a few days to compose yourself and sort out your feelings towards the situation/person - but in the end you do need to say something to him. If you don't then it's just going to end up eating you up inside. It's best to say something sooner rather than later - if you let it go too long then he isn't going to know why you are so upset with him.


It is best to be honest in a relationship - and sometimes telling people the truth hurts, but there are nice ways to tell people the truth and then there are hurtful ways. Your partner has obviously decided to tell you things in a very hurtful manner and that's not a good thing.


You need to talk with him, not only about what he said but how he said it. You need to communicate that you like to hear the truth from him, but you wish that he could tell you in a different manner because you feel like you are being attacked.


In the end it is going to hurt you even more if you don't say something. No one should make you feel like this - especially not your significant other. Sometimes people don't realize how harsh they are being and need to be reminded. Take the time to really think about what is bothering you and what you want to say to him - then talk with him. You need to communicate how you are feeling, otherwise you are going to stay angry and you need to try to work things out so you can let it go.

A question for birth mothers about continued contact with your child?

I adopted my 21 month old stepdaughter in May. My husband and I got custody of her when she was 8 months old because her birth mother left her unattended for 3 hours while she went to party with some friends.





After we got custody, we let her birth mother visit her. She had supervised visitation only (we were the ones to supervise). We even let her come and spend the weekend several times. Her birth mother called several times a week to ask how she was or to chat. We considered ourselves to be an extended family.





As soon as the adoption was final, her birth mother stopped calling. I called her to see if she was ok and she told me she had a new boyfriend. I asked if she still wanted to see Allison and she and her boyfriend came and spent a weekend.





After that we didn't hear from her again, so I called and her cell phone had been turned off. So I dropped by her boyfriend's aunt's house (where they were staying) to be told they had moved to another state.





When my daughter started having medical issues and we needed her mother's medical history, we called her mother (my daughter's grandmother). She tried several way to find the birth mother including having the police go to her address and let her know that we needed her to get in contact for medical reasons. The officer said he delivered the messege to her but she never contacted her mother or us.





So my question to those who have relinquished a child, is what if anything would make you change your mind about being able to keep in contact with your child?





We had all agreed that her being in Allison's life was the best thing for Allison, but now that there is a new man in her life, she seems to want to forget Allison. I can't understand that.











A question for birth mothers about continued contact with your child?
I somewhat know what her birthmother is going threw. I have a open adoption with my daugther she'll be 2 in just a few short months. When she was born she knew who i was no questions even when she was 7 8 months she still knew who i was. After she turned one she started to really change she walking she talking running climbing and she really has a close bond with her a mom that is her mommy to her. I'm not saying that a bad thing it;s actually quite a good thing she bonded with her a mom so very well but it also kills me.





The bond i had with her is still there but not as strong as with her a mom. It hurt to the point i really did think about maybe stop seeing my daugther and just getting pictures and updates for awhile. To your wonderful little girl your mommy not her birthmom. People cope with grief in different ways i knew a birthmother in fact for the year her son ws in adoption she had to drink something everynight just to go to sleep. Now that being said while i believe she's is griving but she really needs to get at least the medical side of it straighted out at least for your knowledge. My baby's bdad contacted me after he left a year ago. He hated to go threw the adoption but like me knew it was the best thing for her he couldnt handle it so he left. He knows he has alot of ground to make up and he's trying his gf made him choose in a sense and he thought it would get better with her so lost contact with us. It suck but that's life and trust me that year was really really bad for him at least. So those are some reaosns i think why she left but i honestly dont know because i ahve enver met her just giving food for thought.A question for birth mothers about continued contact with your child?
There could be as many answers to this question as ther are first mothers. I would think htat either she doesn't want baggage which is really harsh to say or she can't deal with the pain. Either way it doesn't help you out at all.






i applaud you for making such an effort or keep your daughters birthmother in her life. it is really so much healthier (mentally) to have her their to ask questions when she is old enough..





i dont think there is anything that would make me change my mind, there may be some things, just a general overwelming of feelings, that would make me take a step back but nothing could keep me from wanting to know about her, wanting to see her....i was very lucky, my ';new'; (came into the picture after my daughters adoption but we have been together for a while) boyfriend has been very supportive, he even goes with me to visit her and asks about her! give her time and keep her in your prayers, my heart goes out to you...








NOTE: i do have to agree thou (and it pains me as a birth mother to say this) that it is not acceptable to come and go as she pleases, if she really wants to see Allison then she needs to at least take some responsibility and prove that she really wants to. you dont want this to have a harmful effect on your daughter...
I hate to sound mean but she DID lose custody after leaving her 8 month old unattended to party. Maybe she is just young and stupid, maybe there are other things going on with her, but I'd put a lot of thought into letting her back into Allison's life if she ever makes the effort.





I can't think of anything off the top of my head that would make me want to not be in contact with my child









When I gave my twin girls up for adoption I was 17 about to graduate and had a full ride scholarship. I did not want any content with them at all. I was adopted by my aunt (birth mother's sister) and my birth mom popped in and out of my life for years. I had extreme abandonment issues. I would never want my girls to feel as though I didn't love or want them. This year I met them for the first time. I felt very uncomfortable. Like they weren't even my kids. I chose not to see them for those two reasons. They always have a place in my heart. Also some people are selfish. She needs to mature and stop being so selfish. Hope all is well with you daughter. Good Luck!
I know what you mean. My son's sister's mother (used to be my step-daughter, I was trying to adopt her, then my husband went nuts) was the same way. She didn't even bother to see Marie when Marie was diagnosed with cancer or in the hospital having surgery! We offered to either pay for her hotel or flight to come see us and she never responded!





Remember that Allison has you now. You can't do anything about the other situation, so just stop trying. The harder you try, the more frustrated you will get. Just concentrate on Allison and things will get better.
i cant believe the birth mother could just stop seeing her daughter for a man...i was happy to hear that you all were an extended family...i dont think i could do that personally but you are very strong....allison deserves better than what her birth mom has to offer...she cant just come and go as she pleases allison needs stablility in her life and her first couple of years of confusing enough for her...her birth mom has no right to hurt her over and over again....thanks for being one of the good people in the world :)
some mother just don't have that instinct to be a loving caring mother. This is her loss, days that she will never get back. All you can do is be their for the child weather it be ';MOM'; or someone to look up to and follow as she grows into a young woman. I speak from experience i myself have adopted a step child who only wants the child around when its convent for her
Nothing at all would make me change my mind about wanting contact with my child. Most of us birthmothers love our children so very much, and people think so negatively of us because of stories like yours. Not all Birthmothers act this way, it seems maybe she just wasn't ready to grow up enough. I love my daughter so so much, and the thought of never having contact with her again makes me sick.
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  • Leaving my parents house at 19, important question?

    Alright so I realize that since I am over the legal age of 18, if I just left my house it would not be technically running away. But that's what I'm doing. I'll give you a little bit of information to fully understand so you're able to answer the question I'm going to ask though. So, let me say first that I am not leaving my parents house out of hate, anger, or anything cliche like that. My reason is that I just want to live my life the way I've always been wanting to. And that's very hard to do when you have one of the most judgmental people as your mom. I don't necessarily want to go and do bad things but just I guess not have to worry if what I am doing is going to be approved by her.





    Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.





    I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.





    As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.





    So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that?





    Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.








    Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.Leaving my parents house at 19, important question?
    You sound perfectly reasonable and I don't see an issue with this plan except leaving at night so you don't have to deal with your parents reaction. But if talking to the hasn't helped (I have an overprotective and judgmental mom ) I had to almost do the same thing to have a life of my own. (I went into the military) Telling my parents over the phone from very far away where they could disapprove all they wanted but couldn't DO anything about it was freeing. I don't think that your parents being able to track you down will be an issue. They couldn't do anything about dragging you away from your new hubby (congrats) But if they are really keen about finding you...they probably could..if they hired a PI. But that would take a while and by then you will probably be settled into your new life.Leaving my parents house at 19, important question?
    Even if they did find you there is nothing they can do as you are an adult. You have evry right to move out and live your life the way you want to you.





    Good luck.
    Your grown? 18+ what are you trippin for? you cant get in no trouble for leaving.......... oh and you are thinking wayyyy to Deep. and this is the stupidist thing iv ever heard... sorry
    What is wrong with simply telling your parents that you are now 19, now, and you want to get on with becoming an adult, and then just move out? Why debate it with them? Why disappear? Get your apartment, and live in it the way you want to. Tell your mother that you are now an adult and you would like a phone call before the visit.





    Somehow I don't think you gave us all the information we need to advise you, have you? :)
    I'm not going to lecture you: there are times when it's best to cut family ties, at least to some extent.





    Can your parents find you? Sure, if they're determined. Do they know your boyfriend? Know people who know him? If you have a credit card or apply for one -- if you apply for a new job -- any good private investigator could locate you if your parents were willing to pay one. It's easy.





    The point is that they could not force you to return home. They COULD make life difficult for you, which might mean continually changing your phone number, moving, and simply refusing to have any contact with them or their friends and relatives for a while. And bear in mind: once you leave, THEY may decide not to have any contact with YOU. These things work two ways, you know.





    By the way: are your parents members of another culture? One that might sanction doing harm to you in some way? If so, you may need to consider more drastic measures, such as moving out of state.





    Once you marry, take your husband's surname and get yourself to the Social Security Office to arrange that.
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  • What are your thoughts about the luxury condo that turned into a homeless shelter?

    I read an article today about the Brooklyn, NY Luxury condo building that was given over to be used as a homeless shelter. The story goes that the economy is really bad and the owner couldn't get people to rent out apartments in his building. So as an alternative, he teamed up with the city and nonprofit organization to turn the building into a shelter. It was a win win situation for him and definitely for the tenants. The people in the neighborhood, however, are fuming. Here are some quotes from neighbors:


    1. ';At least they could have rented it out ot working people in the community. That would have been better than a shelter.';


    2. ';To walk over there and see that folks in a shelter are living better than we are, it's not fair.';





    How do you feel about this? A neighborhood activist is trying to get the shelter closed down. Is he justified to lead that charge?





    For me, I am bias because I used to be homeless with my daughter. We went through the shelter system and roughed things out until we got back on our feet. I always had it in my mind to move up and not stay down. Now, I am off public assistance and section 8. Someone gave me a chance and I have been working in a law firm for 3 years now. I pay rent on my own now. Although times were hard and some people treat you like crap, I'm grateful for all the help that I got in the shelter system. I really appreciate that this condo turned into a shelter because not only are places overcrowded, but also it gives people a shot at being treated like the human beings they are. It's an act of kindness that also pushes you to work at getting a job and renting out something of your own that is similar or even better one day.What are your thoughts about the luxury condo that turned into a homeless shelter?
    My Kindred does work with the homeless and very poor in our community. (volunteer outreach and advocacy, helping to locate resources, taking people to appointments, walking them through application processes, etc.) I was just out by the river yesterday checking on a few people and providing tarps, sack lunches, etc. (ended up in the hospital, but that's a different tale. LOL!)





    Our last homeless count* in January counted just under 5,000 homeless, both sheltered and not (this doesn't count those in transitional housing programs as we consider them ';homed';), in our community. We have less than 1,000 shelter beds (we're about to lose 300 of those, too, because of the budget problems here) and only 110 in one facility that will take women and their children both. There's a waiting list over 1,000 strong just for that one facility, and that's just the names of the mothers on that list. If someone were to tell us ';Hey, those luxury lofts they just built by the capital aren't renting? Got anyone who needs a place to stay?'; I could not only fill it in one day, I'd STILL have people sleeping by the river I have to go check on three times a week.





    I don't think most people realize the many problems of homelessness. For those who aren't sheltered, they have no address, some have no phone number - they *can't* find jobs. The amount of mental illness out there, along with other issues, is astounding. Since we no longer have mental health facilities for the very poor in this county, they're out in the streets, getting no help. There are addiction issues that are not being addressed for lack of resources/stable environment/counseling support. Domestic violence (we only have 15 DV beds in the entire county, no children allowed) is actually the leading cause of homelessness among women and children in my county. Unemployment is a major cause, if not the root cause, for homelessness in my county. Some of these people will also have the aforementioned mental health and/or addiction issues. A lot of people with mental health issues self-medicate and end up with addiction issues. It's a multi-layered problem.





    I'm sure you noticed that there are very, very few homeless that LIKE being homeless. They are so far in the minority it's maddening when people claim otherwise. None of these people are ';lazy';. It's hard work being homeless, which I'm sure you noticed. A little stability in their lives - an address, a phone number - would help a LOT. Access to a shower, cooking facilities, laundry facilities - you need all these things to stay healthy and find work. People need to realize that a homeless person can't just wake up one morning, find a job and keep it. How will the potential employer contact them? When they get a job, where/when will they shower? Eat? Do laundry? Not all employers will give a new employee an advance.





    I applaud the building owner, the city of NY and the non-profit for their efforts to give these people not only hope, but a chance. Since transitional housing gives you between 1-2 years to find a home on your own (the Section 8 waiting list here is much longer than that, btw), this keeps these people safe and enables them to work, save money toward their own home and hopefully find low-income housing for a decent period of time rather than the 30 days they'd get at a shelter. I so wish we could find someone that altruistic here in my city.





    Oh, and congrats! Now that you've been through that experience, you know you can make it through anything! It takes a lot of strength to survive such a thing in the first place, but to bring yourself out of it so well is truly amazing. I, for one, am very, very proud of you!What are your thoughts about the luxury condo that turned into a homeless shelter?
    I guess I understand the complaints of some people. But as far as Im concerned, it doesn't matter what building it's in, as there as there is a place for homeless folks.
    I think all luxury condos should be turned into homeless shelters
    That's a tough one. First of all the people that live there and own property just lost a big chunk of their nest egg. The value of property in that neighborhood just plummeted, not fair but that is the reality.





    I used to live in a neighborhood that was decent, then they put a shelter in and the quality of life went way down, in fact I had to move. Many people who live in shelters are good honest people who are just trying to get back on their feet. However, a big percentage are just ne'er-do-wells and degenerates.





    If they tried to put a place like that in my town/neighborhood, I would be upset and do everything in my power to prevent it. On the other hand, where can you put these places? They have to go somewhere, right? Maybe they should restrict these shelters to 'out-of-the-way' industrial areas?
    I think it's great. I don't know if the guy is a Christian, but he's certainly showing Christ-like behavior by doing this. Christ Himself would rebuke the critics of it, saying something like, ';why is it any of your business that I'm generous?';


    He might quote the parable of Matthew 20, where a man paid the people who were hired at the end of the day the same wages as those who were hired at the beginning of the day, and the people who worked longer thought that wasn't fair, but the man replied,


    ';Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good?'; - Mat 20:15
    Wow that is amazing, honestly I think that all buildings going up should do this. Donate one floor to nonprofit, low income, or even coop, that way poverty leaves the ghettos behind and poor people can feel like a human again. The problem with poverty is it is ';ghettoized'; here in the Western world. And we are all headed down that road, almost the whole planet is one paycheque away from being homeless. If currency keeps de-valuing as it is now, you could go to the bank one day and have less cash than you imagined.





    They have done this with downtown Toronto, here in Canada. They give tax breaks to the land owners of course, everyone wins. People have to get over the fact that some are paying 25% of the rent, for the same location. Americans may call me a communist for thinking so, but this is a great move for NYC.
    Well, as your testimony proves, there are many people who come upon hard times, require help to find their feet and then are off and away, and able to support themselves.





    Unfortunately though, for every one of the above, there are several lazy individual out for a free ride and there to fleece the social security system for all it's worth. They have no interest in self improvement, all they want to do is nothing.





    Sadly they tend to ruin it for the rest...
    Reminds me of the time when I was living in Pittsburgh and there was a large house next to my apartment building that was being converted into a halfway house for people being released from psychiatric hospitals.





    A bunch of neighbors got their panties all wadded up over this and decided to try to prevent it from happening. One guy came to my door and asked me to sign a petition against it. I asked him ';Do you think halfway houses are a bad idea?'; and questions along those lines.





    It all came down to the fact that he didn't think they were a bad idea he just wanted them in another neighborhood. And I was like, ';maybe we are that other neighborhood.';

    Help, please! What is going on in her mind?

    I have had a crush on this girl for over a year and a half. Recently, I met another girl and I was suddenly 'over' my old crush. I decided to move on and not contact her again.


    I had a very hard time with my crush..she flirted with me, disrespected me, only contacted me if she needed something. She also hid information from me on facebook and blocked me on msn. I never told her how I felt. Anyway, my birthday party came up and I didnt invite her. She sent me an angry on facebook asking what she had done to not be invited and thought that I must have been crazy, because it was out of my character.


    I sent her a massively long message back outlining my decision, letting her know what brought me to my decision...I did this by telling her about the feelings I had for her, how I felt hurt by her actions and her behaviour and that she wasnt a tue and genuine friend to me, I apologised for not being open with her and told her that even though I went through very hard times during the time that I knew her, I still appreciated meeting her because I learnt from the experience and did have some good times knowing her. I also told her clearly that I was moving on and wished her good luck for the future and showed regret for not telling her how I felt earlier. Basically, I let it all out..like a waterfall.





    Anyway, I received a very cold message back from her saying that I had shown my true jealous colours and that the long message I sent would not sweeten anything for me.





    What is going on in her mind, in your opinion ? I feel like I have opened my heart and shown true honesty and was surprised by that response. I will be seeing her around, as we go to the same events and I am friends with her sister. Things will be very uncomfortable when I see her again...could be a confrontation.





    I don't know what to feel. It's all so hard. I may have got closure...but I'm still feeling strange and like I've been hit very hard.





    Any ideas or thoughts on this would be appreciated. Thanks.Help, please! What is going on in her mind?
    sounds like she is what we call ';stringers'; they string men along and when the man breaks free of her she gets mad and start behaving like a child,,,, trying to get them back,, she gets jealouse my advice is ignore her when u are around her act like u have more confidance in yourself then she does in herself and just start telling things like it is! she can not controll your life and if u let this get to u then she will have won and u will have suceeded in letting her win!!!


    Good luckHelp, please! What is going on in her mind?
    She's really in mature and petty just brush it off
    I'm a girl and if another girl reacted like that, I assume ';*****'; straight away. But thats just my opinion, lol!

    Depression Help 2 - Is this any good ?

    Ok so this is the second time I've posted this due to the first time there was a load of spelling mistakes etc. Please read and tell me what you think. =)





    Depression is a state of mind. Its not your body or your brain its you. Your telling yourself that your not good enough, or that something isnt right, or someone else is the blame. Yes you feel worthless, down, no energy, nervous and less confident. OBV i haven't covered all the points on depression but Ive covered a few. This essay if you will, will guide you into the right direction. Ive been depressed my self and been medicated by doctors etc.....so you wake up and feel '; whats the point '; every day.





    You need to get up and go somewhere. Now some people are depressed because there overweight. Go and do some gardening. Do something to take your mind off things. Paint a wall is the best way its tranquil. Go online and get a collection of your fav songs and play them whilst painting then take a look back and see what you have acolmphished. Now you may say Ive only painted a wall but yet if you never painted the wall what would you of been doing. Sitting there thinking all about the stuff that depressed you in the first place. Or even so take a nice bath. light some candles and hit play on the radio.....there are many things to do to cure depression but Ive named 2 easy things that people will think about and your probably thinking wow is this guy for real....





    But exactly remember Rome wasnt built in a day. Start small work your way up. Going to bed knowing you've acolmphised something will leave you in a better state of mind. Sometimes to overcome you bad points you have to face them. Similar to facing your fear you have to confront someone or something in order to understand it. Plus instead of trying to fix the problem simply remove it from the equation i will put it in a easy sum form for you as a example. I want the answer 2 but a number is blocking my path...kinda like your thought blocking you from becoming even with life and moving on so here's the sum 1 + 1 + 1=3. But i want 2. So instead of narrowing all the numbers down to get 2 you simply remove 1 from the equation and then that will = 2. So like in your head you have a similar equation you have life + depression + life = depression. obv because in most cases depression takes over life. So again to solve the equation you simply remove the problem, not try and fix the problem.





    If you remove depression from life you would have life back but because all you think about is depression that what stands in your way. Obv people are depressed because of money ect but in a simple fact remove everything from your mind and think how lucky you are to be living standing breathing walking washing all on your own. this is where the equation comes back into it. instead of thinking about material things which we all love think about life and how luck you are to be living. but like the equation you still have the 1 you removed left over like your depression. so what do you do, do you go back to collect it and try and figure out a way to remove it or do you leave it hanging knowing that the problem has been solved and the extra 1 is no longer needed because you have your answer of 2. remember once you have removed the problem you can the figure out the answer. don't try to solve the answer with a puzzle in the way simply remove it and you will have your answerDepression Help 2 - Is this any good ?
    Hey!


    You answerd my question, and So I am going to answer yours! :D


    I agree with you on that. But sometimes, it can get so overwhelming that it goes beyond your control.


    Good info though :)


    http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind鈥?/a>Depression Help 2 - Is this any good ?
    There are still many an error.
    -Its not your body or your brain its you. -





    Wrong. For a lot of people, it's a chemical imbalance in the brain.

    Would this effect your relationship?

    have a certain problem with a fetish that i am trying to resolve and eliminate all together and am trying to figure out the best way to do it! I have this nylon jacket that I love wearing backwards with the hood pulled up over my face and pull real tight! It's really becoming a problem because it is starting to effect my sexual experiences! I cant stop picturing my fiance wearing it or making me wear it! should I wear it like I do for multiple hours to make myself sick of it? I thought if I make myself really uncomfortable with it I would eventually get burnt out and not want to do it anymore! I have researched reverse psychology and behavior conditioning but never have tried any of it! some say to overload on the behavior will cause the mind to burn out on on it and make you not want to do it anymore? If so how long? Is there any studies that prove it works? I have heard of this 3 1/2 hour study suggesting that if you do the action which cause the problem for 3 1/2 hours your mind will get burnt out on the action which in return will cause you not to want to do the action anymore! I did not want to do this without medical advise . What do you think? A fetish is a fixation of a certain item or material that gives one sexual pleasure, normally brought on by either a tramatic experience early in life or an experience that gives one great pleasure! I guess when I look back at it I pretty much brought this on myself! When I was about 12 I had taken a jacket like this out to the garage and tied the hood up to the track of the garage door. At that point I moved the latter over and placed my arms in then slipped my head through so that I was in the coat about to hang there using the hood as support for hanging rather than rope around my neck! I really don't think I was trying to kill myself but just wanted to experience a rush! Well when I step off the latter I had an orgasim for the first time in my life! At the time It was the greatest thing ever! I Did this two other times before the weight of my body gave way and ripped the strins out from the hood! I never tried it agian! I really think this is were the whole facination with this type of jacket began! People say to take your mind back to the tramitizing day and relive it to over come it but I can't do that! There is no way on earth I would ever try to hang myself to over come the fetish. My fience worries that I may put myself in a compermizing position and at least sety it up and stand there hoping I dont have an orgasim. I wouldn't be against that but I don't want to freak her out! What do I do? Sorry if I have offended anyone on here, I just needed to get my story out and ask for some real advise!Would this effect your relationship?
    Autoerotosism (I think thats how you spell it) is extremely common. Unfortunately, it can lead to death by suffocation. There's nothing wrong or abnormal with what you're doing. I can't really offer advice on how to handle it, but please look up that term on google or something and get some real advice from the experts. goodluck.

    How do you do that old trick with the ring and string to see if your having a boy or girl?

    I remember 8 years ago when my mom had her son that she took her husbands wedding band and tied it to a piece of string. And if it moves in a circle its a girl, but if it moves in a straight line its a boy. It moved in a straight line, and out came a baby boy. The same thing happened with my step mom, I told her about the trick and it was true. Now what I want to know it how does it work? Is it just your mind making you do it? Or is it scientifically proven? The thought just came into my mind and i wanted to see what other people have to say about it. Has anyone ever tried this before? Was it correct?How do you do that old trick with the ring and string to see if your having a boy or girl?
    Well, it was probably just coincidence, but, try it! You got nothing to lose...


    (=How do you do that old trick with the ring and string to see if your having a boy or girl?
    yea its your wedding ring or a wedding ring and a strand of your hair and you hold it above your belly and ive tried it and it work for my first daughter, it said female for this one and i find out soon so hopefully *fingers crossed* good luck x
    I don't know how it works exactly but it has always worked for me some people do it above there wrist or hand I did it over my belly and it worked with all 4 of my children, also that was how I determined the sex of our baby chicks when we used to raise them. It was always correct then too!
    We did that, the ring twisted some kinda way, but I couldnt tell what I was having based on that
    Ha ha Yes! I've heard of this. My Nanna swears by it. Though I'm not entirely sure if its a correct method of finding the sex out ha ha.








    But according to her, you must take a solid gold ring %26amp; place it on a peice of string. Wett the tip of it with your finger and swirl it around above the stomache in circular motion.








    Stop. Then see witch way it sways, left, you have a boy. Right you have a girl. Ha ha.











    :) Good luck!

    What does it mean if your making out with a guy and he starts.......doing things?

    Okay,i barely met this guy twice,the first time i didn't even know his name,the second time,we talked ALL night,so we practically knew everything about each other,then I told him how I was fascinated with guys,and I also tell him that I'm not that experienced,and he was like ';are you curious,answer truthfully';, so I did and I said ';yes';.Later on,it was like 7:00 AM and i was pretending to get tired even though I wasn't because every-time I was talking,and I wasn't looking at him,I could feel him staring at me,and when I was looking directly at him,the way he looked at me,it was as if he was a new born baby and I was his mother;like he admired me,and all he wanted was me.Of course I liked it,from the moment I seen him I wanted to talk to him,and basically,I thought he was hot.He was kinda lying down next to me,but I was lying like this-----%26gt; / and he was straight,that's when it started.I'm honestly kinda young and not that experienced when it comes to physical stuff.He started grabbing my waist and rubbing my back,but my head was face down on the pillow.He was saying ';has a guy ever done this to you?'; and I would answer yes in the hopes that he would stop even though my heart and mind didn't want him too.I could then feel his hand moving my hair out of the way from the side of my face to behind my ear. he then procedded to pull me closer to him by grabbing my arm and my waist.He kept telling me to look at him but I refused even though I just wanted to kiss him already.He then flipped all my hair to the right side of my neck because he was on my left.I could feel his soft, warm lips touchng my neck;it was sending chills down my spine,but i loved it.I craved it.I then started to think again,if I continued to let this happen I would have a hicky and my mother would literally murder me so I turned...not to my right,but to my left...towards him. At this point i was closer to him then these letters are.He then kissed me right next to my mouth;directly on the side.After that I knew he was headed for my lips,but I didn't care.I didn't twitch nor breathe.This is what I wanted from the second I seen him.Then we started to kiss and he held me tight so we would stay as close as we were.He was rubbing his hand on my back,and he started to go lower.I thought he was going to grab my butt,but instead he grabbed my leg and put it over his,and I clung onto him and wrapped my leg around his. He then softly licked my upper lip with his tounge,and i knew that meant he would like to start french-kissing.I repeated what he did and of course,we started to french-kiss. His hand was on my back again but this time he went lower again and did start to grab my butt,roughly though.Then he just put his hand in my jean pocket and proceeded to grab my butt. Oh yeah,I forgot to mention this whole time he didn't have his shirt on,but I was fully clothed.Since we were so close,I could feel his penis through his jeans,I think that's what he wanted to happen though. I then started to kiss other parts of his body because I was on top of him,but he completely flipped me over and he started to do other things.All I will say is pulled my shirt up and was kissing me EVERYWHERE. I don't know why he did all these things though,I thought he wanted to have sex but me and him had already discussed that we were way to young for that,even though he was a few years older than I was.What do you guys think?What does it mean if your making out with a guy and he starts.......doing things?
    I agree with tintin.





    Something to remember: SEX is like skateboarding.


    At first, you are happy with just balancing yourself on your skateboard. Eventually you get bored with that and want to start using it in the driveway. Eventually that too, becomes boring and you want to go on the road, ramps, etc.





    Same thing with sex.


    If you start with the heavy kissing, eventually it will lead to caressing, horniness, sex.





    IF you guys already said you wouldn't have sex, then you should never put yourself in a position where you are alone with him, never mind the lying on the bed thingamigiggi, and you should stop him when he is holding you like that and caressing you like that.





    Think of the skateboard.





    Do something fun together and get to know each other. That is the best part. Sex confuses everything if you do it when you are not ready or when you are too young.





    IF possible, wait for marriage or adulthood before you do.What does it mean if your making out with a guy and he starts.......doing things?
    Haha this is kind of random but you should be an author the way you describe things is incredible! Not just because it was about sex and whatever but it sounds really good!

    Report Abuse



    He wants sex.


    What is even worse, you went along with it without a single protest.
    he kinda wanted to do 'it'. he definately did. hope it didnt go any further!
    Sounds like a book...
    What do we think? You are obviously a horny tease.
    im not reading all that crap.





    but he obv wants sex
    well how old are you guys?
    You just met him. If hes already trying for sex that's probably all that he wants especially if hes already trying to seduce you when you have said that you're not ready. Why dont you try dating him for a while without sex and see how long he lasts as a partner. I wouldn't go farther than making out until you are ready.





    Take it from my experience. When I was 17 I met a 20 year old the same thing happened to me and I was too ';in love'; with him to see that he only wanted my body. We had sex. He acted interested for 4 months and then just started to ignore me, snap at me, and spend alot of alone time with other girls. On my 18th birthday he stayed out all night with my ';friend';, I broke up with him and less than a week later he was dating my ';friend'; who now has his year old baby who he never sees because he cheated on her too many times.
    he wants to have sex alright.....


    he didn't want to go fast at first





    answer mines please


    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
    OMG . . . u should be publishing things like this . the way u wrote this gave me an erection . . .


    . . . well , back to the question , he wants to have sex . . .
    im not gonna read that, but will say that when a guy does that, it means that he does not respect you and is using you for sex.
    Wow...THIS IS WAY TO LONG.My head hurts.But from what i skimmed through,It looks like he wants to get to know your insides..DITCH HIM! If he cant respect the fact you want to wait..Then hes a jerk.
  • hair combs
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  • She's horny but won't make a move on her man, why?

    My girl sent me an email today and basically said this. She thinks our sex life is non-exhistant. Nearly 5 years ago when we first got together we had sex often. Several times a week. We're not teenagers or even in our 20's. I'll be 40 next year and she'll be turning 38 soon. It's not that we're senior citizens either but I personally don't define my relationship based on how much sex I have while I'm in it.





    She sent me an email and this is one lines she told me.





    ';I shouldn't have to make moves to try to get my man interested in me.';





    If you want sex but think simply because you're a female your man should want you then you have an odd way of thinking. Was that not a self centered comment? We still do a lot together but sex has declined. We travel together. Do things with our kids and families but we don't have sex like we use to. We do manage to do it still once or maybe twice a week. But I guess that's not enough for her. She wants it more than that but she doens't want to put forth an effort to get it. She's always in bed before me. And when she goes to sleep she tends to turn her back to me and hug her pillow. Yeah, those are great signs to me that she wants it. She wants me to always cuddle on her side of the bed but I've told her she could roll over to my side too. I shouldn't have to always make the first move.





    Ladies, do you feel that just because you're female your man should always want you with little to no effort on your part?





    It's not that I don't want her but I just don't want sex right now. If she wants it she needs to make some moves instead of just laying in bed think I can't live without her. She thinks all she has to do is remain female and her job is done. I have things on my mind and sex is not the first thing. Not to say that I won't do it if she makes the moves but she feels like she doesn't have to make any moves.She's horny but won't make a move on her man, why?
    my wife is 38 and i'm 40... i feel for ya... i really do...





    it took me ages to make her realise that if she wanted sex, that she needed to say something and not presume i'm gonna jump her all the time... i've tried that and been slapped down verbally, because she is tired or has her period or cos there isn't time or whatever...





    and now we have an open marriage, because she's realised that she CAN get more when she wants it and not necessarily always from me... :DShe's horny but won't make a move on her man, why?
    Vibrator
    you both need a good night out lovely hotel ect you both being stubborn. the reason she wants you to make the first move is to prove to her you still fancy her.It's a womans thing men dont get.why is she sending you emails? why cant she speak to you to your face sit down and talk like adults
    I don't think that just because we are female that guys should want us.


    But that's the way the world has made it, that guys are sex craved and want woman just for being woman. she's prob just feeling a little neglected.


    maybe she is making subtle changes that you just haven't noticed either, is she wearing something different to bed?


    Tell her that it turns you on when she makes the first move in bed and she'll prob do it more often.
    try to cuddle her more, but also, the next time, instead of telling her to roll over to your side, tell her to snuggle her but up to you (maybe she likes to be held from behind), or just grab her hips and drag her over to your side.
    Could be she has lost interest in you sexually,it happens sometimes.Maybe she at a point in her life where she wants a change.When a woman is sexually attracted to a man she will make a move...Does she show you affection in other ways???? if not then maybe you both need to go to counselling ..... GL

    Would these be the reasons things don't end up happening or working out in the Collins project ?

    %26lt;Q/What are reasons things don't end up happening or working out in life?


    The goals and main things I have tried doing in life have never worked out, why does this happen so often? What are reasons things in peoples life dont work out? The goals I have arent even lofty. The reasons they dont work out are reasons beyond my control and it makes it even more frustrating.





    A/ by Don H /Just work with what is rather than try to bend reality to fit some predetermined goal.





    You will quickly find that it works out far better for you that way.





    A/ Kristen/


    A/ by George /I trust people.





    A/ by Happy Hiram/For me, this has been the result of unrealistic goals and people around me who have reinforced as good my mediocrity. You need people around you who will not accept anything but your best, and you need to set goals that are attainable.





    If then you get nowhere repeatedly, you know the fault is your own. But without discipline and honest feedback, success in your chosen endeavors is most likely doomed, by ignorance and self-delusion.





    A/ by The Path I Choose/';Ma vie est dure parce que les autres me la rendent dure.';





    my life is tough because of the others who make it tough for me.





    A/by phil8656/ Sometimes life itself just seems to be ';beyond our control';. Keep in mind that the goals of other people affect our goals too. And, even worse, the goals of some INCLUDE US. The important thing to keep in mind is to use goals as a vision, or guide post, to strive for. And they can change direction at our whim.





    A/ by Larry/don't be such a pansy. if you want it, make it happen. look at edison--that is an ideal person to emulate if you have goals that have been thwarted by things out of your control.





    A/ by Minski /this is because of a little known law called The Law of Octaves. Also called The Law of Seven (even though octave means eight, it's seven notes and a repeat of the first note, one octave higher)





    Things start out going in a certain direction. Suppose you have a sinkful of dirty dishes and you want to wash them all? From start to finish, that is the octave. There are seven points along the way where the process moves towards completion and generally, it proceeds automatically. But there are TWO places in the octave where the impetus of completion isn't as strong and the direction could change, without you really even noticing it. Or somehow justifying the new, incorrect direction.





    It's called the law of octaves because, like the note of the musical scale, it echoed the MUSIC OF THE SPHERES. There are two missing semitones in the octave, most apparent in the black keys of the piano. There are three black keys between white keys, then a missing black key, then two black keys, then another missing black key then three black keys again. Two missing semitone where the vibration slows down.





    This is most apparent at the end. The SI-DO interval is stronger than the MI-FA interval. If you ever try to do a complete something or other, notice that at the very end, you'll want to just walk away from it. You don't care anymore. It's one of the reasons we don't ENTIRELY finish our cup of coffee but leave a little in the bottom of the cup. Or why we KNOW that we somehow still have over a third of a cup left, no matter HOW large the cup of coffee was in the first place: 8 ounces, 12 ounces or 16 ounces.





    This all refers to ascending octaves. For descending octaves, the most difficult part is at the beginning...at the DO-SI interval. This is why matches don't spontaneously catch on fire. You have to put energy INTO the system by striking the match. Then it continues to burn by itself, without any further help from the outside.


    Source(s):


    The Theory of Celestial Influence - Rodney Collin





    A/ by Eternal Realm /The malevolent Wheel of Fortune, how it spins on before our eyes!


    O Eternal Circle, entangled web of all Life, Free Will is but a lie!


    %26gt;Would these be the reasons things don't end up happening or working out in the Collins project ?
    Why things don't work out in real life mmm ~ sometimes circumstances are just not right, but then if you try hard enough ~ there is always a way ~ you just need to want it badly enough and work towards that goal. But everyone involved needs to be on board or it will not work. Sort of like nailing just one shoe to the floor ~ you just keep going around in circles :)

    Can you forgive your man for being unfaithful?

    Ok, follow-up to last weeks question, I have now found out that what my husband of five years described as a ';stupid drunk kiss, one time'; is in reality a year-long fling he has been having with my single best friend (not anymore) right under my nose. He's been kissing her when I go to the restroom, kissing her when I go to bed (she usually crashes on our couch after we have all been drinking) and kissing her in her car (when the two of them would go to the store). He swears it meant nothing (typical) and has made an appointment with a very expensive psychologist for today to get help. I am beating myself up because I feel like such an idiot... and I am SHOCKED at his behavior. He's always been a good man and he has told me time and time again how he would never do something like this. My question... ladies (or gentile men) how do I move on? How do I stop thinking such terrible things in my mind over and over again like how he kissed her, did he look in her eyes, did he enjoy it. I am going crazy. It's only been three days since the whole thing came out... will time heal? What would you do, do you think you could forgive? Would you invest the time and money and effort in saving your marriage. We have kids but both from our first marriages which both ended due to the other being unfaithful btw. You'd think he would have learned by going through it himself...





    Please BE NICE... I don't want to hear ';divorce his a$$'; or ';kick him to the curb.'; ThanksCan you forgive your man for being unfaithful?
    Asa member of the ';been there/done that'; club, I am just under two years removed from learning of my wife's cheating. It has taken a lot of time, a LOT of hard work, and if I was to tell you that I am over it and things are OK, I'd be lying. The feelings I once had are gone and a cautious love is all that remains. My doctor and counselor told me it will take years for those feelings to work their way back. All those questions and ';moments'; you're having now will tear you apart less frequently as you go along, but as of now mine still haven't gone away completely. I still find myself having visions of her %26amp; him to this day. Not as much as I used to, but every now %26amp; again.





    This is what the next two years of your life will be like. You need to decide if that's how you'd like to live those years out. If you have any more questions about what to expect, feel free to reach out to me. My profile allows you to email me.Can you forgive your man for being unfaithful?
    At the end of day no1 can tell you what to do in this situation, if you think you can forgive him and move on in time then work at it. You asked what other woman would do, I would leave my husband, I just would not beable to forget or trust him again and a relationship with out trust is doomed.
    You may not want to hear it, but you need to let this man go. He's fooled around with your ';best friend'; for a year and hid it from you all this time...that is a major violation of trust that may never be regained. In time you may be able to forgive him for what he did, but you will never forget.
    Long story short, Yes, You can forgive. You *COULD*. But will you? I can tell you from experience, it is a loooooooooooong road, and it will take A LOT from YOU to trust again. I find it helps to know as much as possible about the situation. It helps to settle your own brain.





    Good Luck
    I really think that you need more help with your marriage then just Yahoo Answers..





    Both of you need to decide if you want to really try and save your ';Marriage'; or if kids and society are better off with you two staying single and playful....
    I'm gonna be as nice as I can but if you came here asking a question like this, you're going to have to hear ';kick him to the curb.'; He cheated on you with your best friend. What a dick! Why are you still there?
    I'm sorry, but that is a betrayal I could never overcome. Both the husband and the ';friend'; would be out of my life for good.
    Okay, knowing full well that he doesn't respect you enough to be faithful should be the first step to recovery because if a man doesn't respect you then he's DEFINITELY not good enough for you. But having been in this situation, I have found that the best way to heal it for the time being is to find yourself a good distraction, i.e. a man who'll show you some good attention even it mean letting loose and having a good one night stand...you don't want to go down to his level but there is nothing wrong with getting what you want every once in awhile. ABOVE ALL DO NOT compromise your feelings and let him walk all over you. First off I'll guarantee that there was more than just kissing involved and second, if he's done it once and you let it go, he'll do it again because he knows he can get away with it. Now that's not to say its a bad idea to forgive him, because I found that forgiving can be VERY healing but that doesn't mean you have to allow him to be in your life. I know that right now it seems that it will never end but if you think about it...this has happened before and you got over it didn't you? If I've learned anything in my life it's that time heals everything so that's all its going to take...you're a strong independant woman and you've got kids who need to learn from you so the best thing is to pick yourself up and say ';I can learn from this experience'; that way your kids can see how strong you are. If all else fails, grab a vibrator and take a nice long relaxing bath. But always be confident in who you are!
    I'm being nice tho you may read somethings you might not want to so sorry for being honest and openly objective.


    Yes forgive him, no point in holding on to that crap into the future life of yours. to me at this point i would say to myself. do i want to go on in this relationship? if i do I will have daily reminders of this affair if i do have these daily reminders? If you can live like that then try to work it out!


    if not I suggest you move on.


    for me I'd move on. how can you ever trust him again?
    People say you can, it happened to me, I don't think I really forgave him, I just don't think about it as much. Even though I'm still with him. And he hasn't done anything like that again. When I found out I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. But I know this, if it was to happen again I would say don't let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya. It will always be in the back of your mind. You will have a lot wondering going on. Don't let it consume you. It's is a hurtful situation. The ultimate slap in the face. Good luck and I hope it works out for you two.
    If I was in the situation I would be able to forgive him but not right away. I'd be very hurt and need time to just think and we would have to find some way of working it out. I wouldn't divorce him, and I would hope that he would want us to get help and hopefully we'd be able to work it out and move on.





    As for my ';single best friend';, she would definitely not be one of my best friends anymore and she would not be coming back to my house. Any ';friend'; who pulls some **** like that is shady and not really my friend. I would also tell her straight up to stay away from my husband and my family, and that I'd do everything in my power to keep her out of all of our lives. I would also tell my husband that he has to make that decision too.





    I know it's hard because you see all these pictures in your mind of him and her but trust me, you two can work it out. Time will heal and you guys will be alright.





    But I'm telling you that that ';friend';, if you keep her around it's only going to make things worse so you need to tell her straight up that she needs to go.
    sure you can forgive him but you cant be sure that he wont be doing the same thing again and again..so the question of working out this marriage depends on you if you want to try it again or you just want to move on....it kind of shocks you but that is the truth atleast you know now..its going to take a while till you heal from this incident...just think if u want to stay and see how he will act later on or you just want to move out..best of luck
    I'll tell you again, and I am not being mean, I don't think that you can ever get past this betrayal.


    If the woman would have been a stranger, it would be different.


    But if you can't even trust him within your inner circle, he is not worth having.
    He's got insecurity issues. It's up to you if you want to be with him (and the heartache that comes with it) while he tries to work this out. Some women can get over this, I'm not one of them. It sucks but it happened. Try not to think about every detail or you'll drive yourself crazy. Try not to hate. I know you said you didn't want to hear ';kick him to the curb'; so I'll say, ';gently push him to the side of your life';. With no kids (by him) your kids will bounce back. Don't feel like an idiot because you trusted him, that takes a lot of courage. Anyone can lie and he did it. Now the ball is in your court. Pass it smartly. Good luck.
    One of my ex boyfriends cheated on me and I stayed with him for about 2 months but no I could not forgive him so i left. Of course your husband enjoyed kissing her because if you do not enjoy something do you continue doing it? No you don't you only continue to do things that you like doing. If you are not willing to leave your cheating husband then maybe you should get together with him and your friend and have a threesome because that is what he probably wants anyway and since you are going to be a fool for this man you may as well get some enjoyment out of it.