Wednesday, August 18, 2010

My mum hates me please help?

I love my mum, of course I do. I am 13 years old, but i feel she bullies me. we live together and she is non-stop criticising me. it isn't even in a constructive mannor. she's so nasty to me, going on and on and on, and when i say anything back - she cries!? when what I say isn't even nasty. she speaks in a horrible tone of voice, and she never ever bothers to talk to me unless it's saying what i've done wrong! I keep my room tidy and do the washing up, but its as if she expects me to clean the whole house top to bottom, and calls me lazy! she says 'why are you sitting on the computer all day?' when i'm on it to do my homework. she calls me a liar, about everything I say. today i was sitting at the kitchen table doing my maths homework when she said 'mind move your chair in' so I did, but it accidently hit her leg she went on and on about it saying 'you did that on purpose, say sorry say sorry saying what a horrible person I am and how nasty I was to on purpously hit her with the chair' I said sorry atleast 10 times, but she kept on and on and on.. then said ' your not saying sorry in the way i want you to say it now you say sorry the way i like you to say it'


so I did, and she said 'you dont mean it, if you meant it you would say it differently' I was saying it fine!, then she carried on and on and on and on and on, and eventually went off and cried! I didn't do anything.


she keeps on and on at me and i'm so used to it i just ignore it, its the only thing I can do! if i say something she doesnt like, she rings up my grand parents and says what a horrible daughter i am, that i argue back, am nasty to her, cause arguements, and am disobediant. she then locks away the computer, disconnects the tv. and wont make me lunch as i'm 'too rude'. she is nasty like that for hours, days even. until I get really upset and cry, I have to say to her 'i'm sorry, i'm sorry, please forgive me I love you' then she carries on for another hour telling me what a bad daughter i am, then expects me to make her a cup of tea. after i've done that i'm forgiven. and she's really nice.. untill I do something like sit on her bed, then she moans about how ive made creases on the bed covers and everything else i've apparently done wrong.. when i havent done anything wrong for a while she comes in and randomely says 'you've always been like this havent you.. when you were 7 you did this i cant believe you' and when I dont beg for forgiveness she goes off and cries! i am always polite. i mean when she keeps on and keeps on and keeps on at me sometimes i do snap! and ask her to leave me alone, and just go away! im not the perfect daughter, but its like she hates me shes always sooooo nasty! and rings up her friends/myfriendsparents and our family, and tells them all of my privet life! i dont know what to do please help!?My mum hates me please help?
You should certainly speak to a qualified therapist- perhaps your school has someone who can direct you to a PROFESSIONAL (not the school shrink who is often more dangerous, as they are typically unqualified to treat students, yet don't let that stop them). Or try a google search for a free online therapy site/My mum hates me please help?
If i were you i would call cps on her. I mean if youre that unhappy dont you have a dad? Go stay with your dad if hes around or another familymember because this is verbal abuse and this is going to mess your mind up. I dontlike your mom!
if u think imma read all dat den u must be craaazy...fool.
What a bad mom! Well you should get some help from a school counselor or something. Also your mom might be having some problems and it's not just you. has she had any stress lately? Lost her job, gotten really sick, not being able to pay the bills. Try talking to her about it and confronting her on how you feel. If she still doesn't listen you definetly need to talk to someone about it. I'm sorry and wish you the best of luck:(
wut a horrible mother!!! im soo sorry!!!!!!! its like shes trying to make u look bad in front of every1. u shood try talking to her and telling her that u want to change ur relationship. tell her u wana make a diifference and try to make her happier. maybe u guys shood spend time together. like have lunch or sumthing together. tell her it hurts ur feelings wen she talks bad about u to other people and that wen u hurt her u try to apoligize and you've and u dont hurt her on purpose. good luck.....im sorry.
I am so sorry to hear you are having to deal with this situation! I truly feel for you and can somewhat understand what you are going through as I was constantly criticized and demeaned by my father and nothing was ever good enough for my mother.





And first of all PLEASE PLEASE know that what she is doing to you actually has NOTHING to do with you and who you are as a person. SHE has a problem. SHE is dealing with some sort of dysfunction that has embittered her towards her life. SHE does not see nor know how to behave differently.





There can be many reasons why she is this way, and I can list a few, but this is by NO means a diagnosis or what exactly her problem is. It is quite possible that she has some sort of mental or emotional disorder such as Anxiety, Depression, BiPolar, etc. Or that during her childhood she experienced some sort of trauma or abuse that has contributed to this critical and negative personality trait she exhibits. And is is highly possible that all of the above is a problem for her. However only a professional doctor can make this determination.





But she would need to seek help for it and I am not sure of her openness to do such a thing. She probably sees the entire problem as being yours. That you are just an ungrateful child and if you would just treat her respectfully and cooperate, not cause problems...then everything would be just dandy. NOT TRUE!!





My first question for you is, how are your grandparents? Do they demonstrate any of these same behaviors or manner of speaking to others (especially close family members)? Do you have a father at home? If not, maybe she resents being left alone to raise a child. Its hard for sure, but never justifies treating your child as you have said she does.





Second question is do you have a close relationship with anyone in your family who knows your mother, that seems like a healthy individual, mentally and emotionally, who you could speak with about this situation? And if not, anyone at school, or family friends, church members, etc that you may speak with confidentially and who may be able to assist you with this?





What you are experiencing IS emotional abuse. Which unfortunately is not something that is always blatantly recognized as an abusive situation in which a child should not be involved in. When its physical abuse (which tends to heal much faster) it's obvious a child should not be with their parents.





I really suggest to you that you reach out to a live person somewhere in your life to discuss this with them. I can gaurantee unless your mother is willing to seek some help for herself that it will not improve at all.





And again, I cannot stress this enough that this has NOTHING to do with you! I know this has a huge impact on your own self-worth and makes you wonder what did you do wrong, what else can you do right to make her happy, and if your own mother doesnt love you, are you loveable. Believe me YOU ARE! And you cannot do anything to make her better. You are NOT doing anything wrong.





You need to take care of yourself in this situation by finding a way to talk to someone about this and hopefully start the ball rolling to help the situation. And if that is not possible or it does not go anywhere, do not give up hope. Keep trying, and even if nothing improves til you are old enough to move out, just always keep that in mind.....you will be able to get away from it eventually and whether your mom ever gets herself better or not, you can have a happy life!





btw - you are always welcome to contact me here at my email account directly: brooke.lea@gmail.com
hi ya girl


there are so many answers to your question and so many questions to ask although you have given your side to this and no one is calling you a bad person, it does seem your mother is very stressed and if you had put her age or if she is in her fifties it could be her hormones


she needs to go on replacement therapy.


if this is the case of course she is not going to be in her right mind its a horrible situation for her and also for you be cause you also at thirteen are going through hormone problems your body is sorting out things that will make you a woman so you are both highly charged for now I suggest you carry on the way you are at least you are doing some thing by trying to keep the peace.


be happy stay lucky x


p s she dosen't hate you she hates every one
if i was you i wud run away,seriously wot a *****- im not bein disrespectful cos I dont know your mum do i but i feel sorry 4 u n i truly would run away. but im not telling you to run away. Im 14 and my mum gets on my nerves sometimes to. maybe u r taking it the wrong way cos i know sometimes when mine nags me i take it the wrong way. or maybe your mum is having a stressfull time at the moment? i dont know. but if she is genuinly never nice to you then you could try talking to her about it. but then again it doesnt sound as if she the sort of mum to listen. you COULD tell a teacher at school- i know teachers are ideoits to sometimes but if there IS one you like then maybe get them when none of the class are there and tell them whats going on,they would try their best to help if they are nice. or if theres a school councelor? or anyone else in your family who you like and can trust? but honestly i wish you the best of luck and if i was you i wouldnt have been able to cope with it for so long so you must be a strong person to put up with it and you kknow she is your mum and even if she acts like a ***** she loves you so much deep down. otherwise she wouldnt have you would she? things will get better and i know because i am a teenager i have had a hard life and one day everything will change so stay strng and TRY to be positive hard as it sounds. x

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