Wednesday, August 18, 2010

There is a guy who is really confusing me and I feel so helpless and in the dark!?

OK this is kind of a long question but...





Erm, I am 16, and there's this guy in the year above me at school who I have liked for about...4 months now...? And in January, I finally talked to him about it; I didn't ask him out, I just told him I liked him. Becuase he had been showing signs of liking me, and a friend of mine, who is also a friend of his, said that he did. But I thought asking him out was too forward, and since he was showing no signs of making a move any time soon, I just talked to him. I said ';OK, you prooobably already know this by now, but I like you. I'm not asking you out, I know that would be rather presumptious of me, and it's not my place, but I just want to know what YOU want.'; :) And he said ';I like you too, I really enjoy our conversations but i don't wanna move things too fast, this is really busy month for me, with exams and everything';.





That conversation was about 6/8 weeks ago...How soon is too soon...? I mean, January is over, and he still hasn't asked me... :( I sometimes even doubt that he still likes me at all, because ever since we talked, he's shied away even MORE...He used to talk to me first on facebook a little bit more before we had that conversation. And he texted first a couple times. Like, I'm always the one to talk to him first on facebook, I'm always the one to talk to him first at school, because i know if I NEVER did, he never would. I'm always the first one to ask if he wants to meet up outside of school. I am the one to initiate hugs all the time. :P Lol.





Granted, he IS incredibly shy and quiet, and reserved, and held back with his feelings...You know that kind of guy...? But now I'm doubting his feelings because this has gone on so long and I just want to know...Should I keep trying? Should I talk to him, and ask him if his feelings are unchanged? Should I start giving up and look for someone else? Because I love him, I do, but i can't wait around forever. :( And moving on is hard, because you can't MAKE yourself not like someone; I try to forget about him sometimes, but lately, he is ALWAYS on my mind; it doesn't matter where I go or what I am doing, he always pops into my head at one point in the day.





HELP. I am feeling SO confused and lost and in the dark. I don't know what to do. :'( %26lt;3 xxxxx





And I mean, I did have REASON to talk to him, I felt a conversation could clear the air...He definitely was showing signs of interest; and he DID actuall tell me he liked me. So if he doesn't now, wouldn't that make him kind of fickle...? :( I mean changing your mind about someone that quickly...And instead of ignore me, I think he should TELL me if he doesn't like me anymore, you know? I'd much rather be straight-out rejected than ignored and left hanging in the dark. :/





Also in response to Keiko's answer, he's had one relationship before, but it ended in disaster, she treated him like ****. She was quite manipulative.





Also, if he doesn't want to be bf/gf, then fine, I totally and 100% respect that. If a relationship isn't what he wants, and isnt what's best for him, then I'll do what he wants; but I'd really want to be good friends and I'd want the friendship to grow, but with how he's been sort of ignoring me and hard to get to, he's making being friends even quite difficult. I wish he'd open up a little. :( At least to the idea of having a comfortable, non-awkward friendship. x





Also I'm scared of looking too forward, like, if I looked too forward last time...I'm scared of looking pushy and impatient... :(There is a guy who is really confusing me and I feel so helpless and in the dark!?
I had the same problem,


except the guy I liked just said ';ok'; and did nothing else...


so I kind of just gave up after that.





Look, what you need to do is firstly let him know you're not gonna wait around forever, because its important he knows then just move on. Let it all go.


You don't deserve this confusion.. Boys are confusing but you do not need to put up with it.





Be independent now, enjoy life and he'll notice this .. but thats not the point. The point is for you to enjoy yourself , you don't NEED him... You're your own person!





Hope I helped.There is a guy who is really confusing me and I feel so helpless and in the dark!?
I'd take him at his word, sweetie. He said he likes you, too, but is really busy. By telling him you like him (and who doesn't like THAT!) is not being pushy.





Since his first relationship was not a positive one, he may be fearful of trying again so soon.





When the opportunity arises, you can let him know you'd enjoy a friendship - which is how any good romance should begin anyway, with someone you feel comfortable with and treats you with respect.





Now - go on about your business and let him catch up to you when he's ready and not so busy. If you find a boyfriend in the interim, well, it's his loss. He'll look for another opportunity.





And don't forget to find happiness in family and friends first, as they are the backbone of life!





Good luck.
Guys are like that. Maybe he's stuck in his last relationship. Who knows.


But if you are confused and impatient then tell him! Ask if him if he's still interested and that you can't wait forever if he is. If he says he isn't then just move on in life. If a guy can not like you anymore that fast then he isn't worth your time at all. If he says he is then well, maybe you can start building things off from there.





I'm sorry if that didn't really help at all, I tried my best. %26lt;3 Best of luck.

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