✖Running Away: Please explain to me how running away will solve your problems, instead of making things worse?
✖The move out age normally is 16. But it depends on your state/province.
✖Want to move out? Instead of focusing on the freedom issues and not being under parental control, think realistically.
☐Attending school: Do you realize in this decade College and University is very important. I use to think it was only important if you wanted to be rich, so I didn't bother. Now that I'm living out on my own with my boyfriend, we've both come to realize how hard it really is. The most we can get paid without having a 'real' education is $14/hour. And trust me, that isn't a lot.
☐So if you did move out, how would you expect to work full time to afford your place and finish high school to move on to College/University.
☐Did you consider all the bills you have to pay. Here are my bills;
→(2 Bedroom Apartment-Everything Included) : $1005/month (But we needed $2010 down for first month and the deposit)
→Apartment Insurance: $16/month
→Phone/Internet/Cable: $160/month (We also needed $60 flat fee for connection)
→Cell phone (2): ~$120/month
→Car payment: $200/month
→Car Insurance: $168/month
→Gas: ~$150/month
→Groceries: ~$400/month
This isn't including entertainment like a movie, out to dinner or clothing. Nor does this included possible vet bills if one of my animals gets sick. And if we have a car problem, boy are we in trouble. You also might have to consider a moving truck. Depending on the distance the new place is, it could be from $45 up to a couple hundred. And then if you have no funiture or kitchen ware, you have to put that in account too. I started buying all my household stuff at 16. I didn't end up moving out until 19, but I still didn't have everything. We had to cough up another $600 to buy things like a microwave, plates, a vacuum and so on. Plus the little stuff like toilet paper, womens products, soup, cat food and so on really add up.
What I am saying is that most of these kids have no idea how easy they really have it, and don't put any of this into account. You have to be realistic and consider EVERYTHING.
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Question time: Do you ever remember a time when you considered 'running away'?
Why did you want to?
What made you change your mind about 'running away'?
If you did 'run away', how did that turn out?
When you first moved out, how old were you?
What took you by surprise the most?
What bill did you not really consider when you decided to move out?Running away: Isn't it just ridiculous?
I do see your point. Lots of teenagers just think if they move out they get to do what they want to do when they want to do it but still have all the benefits of living with parents, such as having something pay the bills and supply food. But it's definitely not like that.
I had a friend who ran away in 8th Grade from her mom and dad. She ended up turning to prostitution to try and get by. In the end she had to admit she'd make a mistake and go hope. She went through even more trauma after that. It actually started with something really petty like she had to share a room with her sister or something, and it escalated.
And I can also agree with you about the topic of kids who are being physically/sexually/mentally abused by parents/carers. 9 times out of 10 they need to just call the police and report the person who is doing these things. However, I have an adopted sister who is a slight exception to that.
Since she was 3 she was abused by her dad. Her mom was a heroin addict who was high all day and couldn't even tell if it was morning or night, let alone what her husband was doing to their daughter. The dad used to be a Sergeant in the Army then moved to the local Police Force of the area they lived in. He would do everything imaginable to her- physical and sexual. Once she realised the police help people- or rather, are meant to help people- she tried telling them. They actually ignored her, as her dad was a high standing man in their community and was on the Police Force himself.
For trying to tell she got in even more trouble. This went on until she was 11. Then she finally made the decision that she couldn't take anymore and ran. She ran and was found by a rep from a children's hostel. They took her in and over time she got adopted by us.
I was there all the way from when she would flinch if we tried to touch her and cry from nightmares all night. It's a tough thing to see, I can tell you that. I'm glad she ran otherwise I don't think she'd be here right now. I honestly think she'd be dead.
So, yes I agree with you entirely about teenagers wanting freedom and not seeing the whole picture, and mostly about abused children. My little sister is my one exception to that.
Questions:
Do you ever remember a time when you considered 'running away'?
Yes, I was about five. Then again when I was 8.
Why did you want to?
Because my mom threw away my favorite teddy. It was a huge thing in my eyes and she seemed like Satan to me. The time when I was 8 it was because my parents were divorced and I was living with my mom and step-dad. I didn't get along with him and then one day when my mom was out we had an argument and he hit me in the face. I wanted to just go.
What made you change your mind about 'running away'?
She gave me a hug and a kiss. That made it all better for 5 year old me! When I was 8, I didn't change my mind. I went to live with my dad and step mom and I've been happy ever since. My dad reported my step dad to the police and he got in a hell load of trouble.
If you did 'run away', how did that turn out?
When I was eight, it turned out great. I live with my awesome dad and step mom.
When you first moved out, how old were you?
I haven't. I'm 15 at the moment and don't intend to move out until I've got enough money, someone to share the apartment/house with me (I would hate to live alone, and probably couldn't afford it anyway), and when I'm sure I can live without my parents.
What took you by surprise the most?
Nothing yet. I'm hoping nothing will, but everyone forgets to plan something.
What bill did you not really consider when you decided to move out?
Haven't yet.Running away: Isn't it just ridiculous?
What you fail to realise is some children cant handle their parent and feel compelled to move away from them for their own help. I'm moving away from my family and in with my fiance and child andi'm a teenager.
Some of them were probably being sexually abused (by a parent or step-parent, etc.) or something. You can't generalize their problems.
Female TTC, ';→sparepillow: I understand some kids are sexually abused, I was. But how would running away solve it? They would have no place to go, no money. The best thing in that situation is to call the police. That way it stops, and that sicko won't hurt another child. Plus, then a family member or social services would help you with shelter and other needs.';
I assumed you were talking about running away from home in general and in any/all forms, be it to a friend's house, couch surfing, the streets... or a shelter. I agree, though. The best thing to do (to put it shortly...) would be to get the right people involved, but how much easier is that to say than do?
to the real question,
yes running away is ridiculous
Running away is just plain stupid. Poke their eyes to make them see sense.
You can run away from your physical residence but you cant run away from your mental and emotional problems. Those will stay with you no matter how far you run. You just gotta learn to beat them and don't be scared to loose because in the end it will be worth being comfortable where your warm home and loved ones are. So to answer your question, yes i do think running away is ridiculous haha.
Well thanks for your thoughts on ';running away';, but by the way your approaching this i can tell you have no idea where these kids are coming from, and you probably never will. First of all, I would say 99 times out of 100 the kid isn't running away just because they don't want rules and they wanna stay up past their bed time or whatever. most of the time there is good reasoning behind it. Why would anyone want to run away from a loving home where they are payed attention to and provided for? Most children that run away have problems at home, and please don't tell them to suck it up, i think most of them rather leave home then to be in their current situation. I ran away form home when i was 16, i was fully aware of the consequences of running away. i was emancipated at 17 and started my first job shortly after. I was working 50-60 hours a week when i was only 17! on top of that i was still trying to graduate from high school. I had my own appt, and i walked to and from school and work everyday. it was about a 4 mile walk both ways. I do not regret that even though i lost out of most of my childhood, because i was working, i much rather be working at 17 and alone then stay at home and be beaten even one more time.
Why did you want to? i have ran away before, when i was much younger before i had my daughter so this was very,very long ago, and i do remember it was a petty thing over a dog.
What made you change your mind about 'running away'? i didnt change my mind.
If you did 'run away', how did that turn out? the police came and found me, brang me home. and my mother ignored me for ages.
When you first moved out, how old were you? 18.
What took you by surprise the most? the things i wasnt able off doing or knew.
What bill did you not really consider when you decided to move out? um money situation.
Imagine this ...
You live with your drug addicted mother that goes away for days at a time on drug binges and she has an abusive boyfriend. You are getting raped everyday.
I honestly think YOU do not understand because for some kids running away would be much better for them then staying where they are.
Look up on youtube '; Runaway love'; and watch the music video .
You probably will change your perspective of this.
I agree. At one stage I did want to run away, but I would never do it. Where the hell would I go? I wanted to because my parents were going through a divorce. What changed my mind was the fact I had no-where to go and the increasing amounts of child predators, rapes etc. I had a bit of money but that would run out after about a week. I was 13 when it happened and I am 17 now. I look back and think it was a hard time but considering running away was ridiculous.
This girl in my class 'ran away' because her Mum told her that she had to help around the house. She went to another girls place and her parents came and got her 2 days later. It was pretty stupid and she made it seem like she had it so hard when in reality, her parents were the sweetest people.
*$100, for a couple of months :O Woah
This girl stayed with another girls family. The other girls parents didn't ask a single question and just said yes. They were having financial problems as well. I think it was stupidity. The girl brought all the make up in the world, hair straighteners, curlers and everything but no school uniforms, books, money. She made up a sob story for the teachers so they wouldn't get mad and they totally believed it. It was about 4 years ago but I still remember how mad I was.
I can relate to this. There were times I thought of running away but now I would give anything to be back at home having my mom paying for everything and having no real worries. Even though when I was at home I payed bills it doesn't get worse until I move out. It really is hard. I am now currently in the military so in a sense it is like back home because I have a 2 bedroom house that I don't pay a dime for, or the water and electricity, but I still have bills and car insurance, and grocery's that need bought. I miss the days of being back at home and having my mom cook and clean and buy groceries. Its harder than they think and I guarantee that once they move out on there own and get a taste of the real life they'll wish they hadn't. My advice stay as long as you can. As long as you respect your parents and help out it's not that bad!
hang on..
but you even said ';I use to think it was only important if you wanted to be rich, so I didn't bother.';
so who are you to judge when you made that mistake!?
also, ive ran away a few times (to friends houses) and sorry to burst your bubble but it actually did help.
it gave me and my family a break, and gave us time to think things through and after that it made us stronger and relise the things we do wrong.
edit: also, your name says your TTC? but you just said you dont earn much money?
maybe TTC when you get a better job where you earn more money?
you have no right to judge.
Well, a lot of kids feel trapped where they are. Most kids runaway because they act like babies when they don't get what they want, and that is plain stupidity. But some teens feel that they are trapped at home, have serious problems where they believe that running away is the only option and adults seem to overlook their teens emotions/feelings/change in personality, and don't realize anything was wrong till its too late.
Wanting to move out, again, depends on the situation. Some teens parents are either too stricked or abusive or BOTH. And they feel that moving out and living on their own is the best option for them.
Question 1: No, never considered it, tho my sister did, but she was rebelling and wanted to run away when my mother never gave in to her
I first moved out at 27, my parents weren't in any hurry to get rid of me, lol, tho i was ready to move out way before that, but was still saving money to do so.
What took me by surprise? The BILLS.
I considered all bills, but the amount of it was a different story.
In this day and age, life is pretty hard, so i hope that teens get smarter and think before they run away or doing something drastic.
hgj
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