Why do I need/want to move out your probably wondering? It's very simple actually. There's no drama or anything. I am just simply not happy and it's been this way for a long while now so I don't expect things to change anytime... at all. So I just need to take control of my own life. The reason why I can't just sit my parents down and talk to them is because they won't care what I have to say. I know that for a fact, I have tried many times to calmly sit down and talk to them about many things in the past and all I get from them is criticism and yelling. This is just what is best for my current situation honestly.
I feel as though I have a pretty flawless plan as to how I am going to do this as well. What I am going to do is at night when both my parents are sleeping, my boyfriend is going to help me get all my stuff out of my room and put it all into his car. I have written a long letter to my parents that I will be leaving on the kitchen counter where they will easily see in the morning. In this letter, I will explain my reasoning behind moving out, who I am with, and that I will contact them so they know I am safe. I know it will hurt my parents but I feel like nothing else will get the point across. I also don't plan on cutting my family out of my life completely. What I am going to do is after a few days of my moving out, I will call my parents just to say I'm safe and no need to worry. And then eventually, after things have calmed down at a tolerable level, keep more in touch with them.
As for where I'll go, I have a place to stay and also a very good job already that actually pays a lot more than my parents have ever made but that's beside the point. I will also be attending school once I get everything together. I do want to succeed in life and I want to go far with all my dreams but I want to do it the way I feel is best for me, not what my parents want. This may sound like just a pathetic (or no so pathetic) attempt at rebellion. But that's not what I'm doing. I just need to start my life and I don't want to waste another second being unhappy here.
So if your still reading and aren't bored out of your mind yet, here is what my question is, finally... With being over the legal age and leaving a note, is there anyway that my parents can get to me or find out where I am somehow? Like by social security number? Or something like that?
Note that I will not be taking the car they bought for me, or my cell phone (I'll be getting a new phone under a new account, new number and everything obviously), I don't use any credit cards of theirs, and they do not know where the person who I'll be with lives at. And also I'll be married (please don't lecture me about this either) so my last name will be different, which will make it almost impossible for them to access any information about me or find me right? Please let me know if you see any flaws in this plan. Any at all, even if you are not 100% positive. I just need to make sure that there is no way that they can find me in anyway.
Thank you if you actually took the time to read all this. Oh, and please do not preach to me about how I should not go through with doing this. Exercise your fingers somewhere else please, it would just be a waste of both of our time.Leaving my parents house at 19, important question?
You sound perfectly reasonable and I don't see an issue with this plan except leaving at night so you don't have to deal with your parents reaction. But if talking to the hasn't helped (I have an overprotective and judgmental mom ) I had to almost do the same thing to have a life of my own. (I went into the military) Telling my parents over the phone from very far away where they could disapprove all they wanted but couldn't DO anything about it was freeing. I don't think that your parents being able to track you down will be an issue. They couldn't do anything about dragging you away from your new hubby (congrats) But if they are really keen about finding you...they probably could..if they hired a PI. But that would take a while and by then you will probably be settled into your new life.Leaving my parents house at 19, important question?
Even if they did find you there is nothing they can do as you are an adult. You have evry right to move out and live your life the way you want to you.
Good luck.
Your grown? 18+ what are you trippin for? you cant get in no trouble for leaving.......... oh and you are thinking wayyyy to Deep. and this is the stupidist thing iv ever heard... sorry
What is wrong with simply telling your parents that you are now 19, now, and you want to get on with becoming an adult, and then just move out? Why debate it with them? Why disappear? Get your apartment, and live in it the way you want to. Tell your mother that you are now an adult and you would like a phone call before the visit.
Somehow I don't think you gave us all the information we need to advise you, have you? :)
I'm not going to lecture you: there are times when it's best to cut family ties, at least to some extent.
Can your parents find you? Sure, if they're determined. Do they know your boyfriend? Know people who know him? If you have a credit card or apply for one -- if you apply for a new job -- any good private investigator could locate you if your parents were willing to pay one. It's easy.
The point is that they could not force you to return home. They COULD make life difficult for you, which might mean continually changing your phone number, moving, and simply refusing to have any contact with them or their friends and relatives for a while. And bear in mind: once you leave, THEY may decide not to have any contact with YOU. These things work two ways, you know.
By the way: are your parents members of another culture? One that might sanction doing harm to you in some way? If so, you may need to consider more drastic measures, such as moving out of state.
Once you marry, take your husband's surname and get yourself to the Social Security Office to arrange that.
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