The First Chapter Of My book , Your Opinion?

A blank paper. Lines cross the page as a reddish center line goes along the edge of it. A connection, it has been sold for free as it floats in the air to inundate the streets with many of them, so what makes the authors write the story of their life onto a piece of paper, isn't it precious enough to be engraved on a gold? , that's what I wanted to find out, the moments the writer shares with the paper before the pencil point touches the line. An empathy. It's all white as you clear your mind to find the moment in which it all started. You can just dirty it because you know it'll never be white after you write down what you've kept all those years. But once you're done, the reflection of your heart will show as it's never done in the mirror. But can a world be shrunk to a paper?


Sometimes there's a lot of things to mention that it gets the reddish center line to move out of the paper's edge, that's when you find yourself limited, but if you have crossed the line in your life, you may find it easy to broaden the margins of anything. When the signature of the author is hidden between the lines .


For a few anxious moments he thought he had been exposed. That fact changed his perception as the diary was left open face down on his desk. He raised it, noticing the last page, ended with ';I lost the direction but my path would never get distorted鈥?quot;, as he read it, the pronunciation of that sentence sounded insignificant to him. He didn't remember he had written it, but something got him hooked, with time he learned how to accept criticism although he never had one. Until now, it was like an appendix to his diary, some pages were folded to be used as bookmarks, the editor probably had been reading it well that it made him curious to know what happened next, that's when he decided to write that addition. While trying to find a meaning to it, somebody knocked on front door of his shack.


10 years ago. The government crashed his house for not paying the rent, moreover, he was accused of sexual harassment of a woman he'd been raping while her husband was in the army. After that, he was released conditionally and spent 2 years in the prison for the same crime as her husband claimed he had bribed the judge for a better punishment. During those years, the police sentenced him to be exiled, because they got complaints from other females who'd been threatened by him. It was a rough time, nobody wanted to stay in touch with him. Employers rejected him when he asked for a job , the shack was the closet home for him but also a place in which it all started.


Even the shack hadn't been a safe place to hide from the policemen, so he invented a ';secret knocking'; by which he could detect who behind the door...





BTW : how's my English as a second language


Be honest and critical !!The First Chapter Of My book , Your Opinion?
To be honest, if you placing it on yahoo answers you asking for it to be stolen, and you know its no good - because its not. The world of writing is hard and dangerous, and your writing at this moment is NOT cut out for it. Its boring, the first sentence does not catch my attention - why would I keep reading? THAT is what publishers, agents, and people will be thinking if they were to pick this up. It needs a ton of work.The First Chapter Of My book , Your Opinion?
(Shrugs shoulders) I'm sorry but I could not get through the whole thing. I skipped around it. Not interesting enough for me, sorry.
don't get me wrong, its not bad it just seems like you learned a few new words and cant wait to show them off. :S
Very good. I really don't agree with whatever that other person was saying, about new words and such. I love the first few lines of the first paragraph. Keep it up. But I always do have to add a bit of criticism. I think you shouldnt jump into the ';government this and that'; thing about his life. Or at least put more detail in it. It just seemed to go so fast, and it doesnt give your character enough... what's the word? It makes him seem less real, like he's just a character. You want to reach your readers on an emotional level, make them feel like they know the character, like they are a real person they can see and touch and talk to. Some one that actually has control of their own actions, and its not just you writing it. It's the character thinking it, doing it, on their own accord.


Other than that its very good, and I would love to read more. Email me at knmsk@aol.com
I am not in the mood of reading right now cause I just woke up. So I just read the first paragraph. It was good. Very description. I am just wondering how you are going to turn this into a book. I should of read more!


The begging sounds like a poem, just to let you know.








Go write more!!!!!