What is the first thing that comes to your mind...?

After you read this poem?...[I wrote it as a song, took out the chorus, and wanted to know what you think of it as a poem in itself?] NOTE: You kinda have to read it fast without much pausing so it sounds right. Reading it aloud might also help. The meaning of it is when you find someone/something you love and look to, to help you get through hard times but eventually you feel like you haven't made ';their'; life any better, so you tell them to move on to someone better for themselves. You feel like they deserve better than you. AlSO, i didn't make this song with the intention of giving you the idea it's about self-pity, but rather...when you think things are going the best possible for you, you take a step back and realize how much damage your doing to someone else for them to make you happy. PLEASE...give me some constructive criticism. As soon as I record me actually singing it, I might post it.





For A Moment


By: Me





Here I am


Hold me close- don鈥檛 let go of me


Squeeze me tight


Just enough to breathe


Take my hand


Fill the space


Pull back my hair


To free my face


Here I am


Don鈥檛 let go of me


Grasp my arms


Touch them softly


Bring me back to the world


To reality


Let me make your shirt soak with love


My tears run down your shoulder


You don鈥檛 care


For me, you鈥檙e there


Lift my chin


To see your grace


Here I am


I watching you


And all you do


Don鈥檛 let me leave


Pull me back to you


It鈥檚 a mistake


You鈥檙e between far and few


Breath in now


I can feel your heart pound


Take me with you


Here I am


We鈥檙e not alone


It鈥檚 all we鈥檝e got


Keep me close


Inside all your thoughts


That will do


Let me go


Release your love


Watch it flow


To someone new.What is the first thing that comes to your mind...?
This is great. I don't get the same meaning as you, which is weird considering you're the author. It's almost like the narrative speaker wants to tell the person they love that they cannot do it anymore. Like, there's no strength left to make it through the relationship, and they just want to be alone. Understandable in certain situations. But this is really nice! I liked it. Kudos!