Monday, August 16, 2010

How do you just sit back and wait to see if your suspicions are true?

How do you disconnect yourself and try to move forward in your mind, while hanging onto your spouse to see if they are cheating on you? I can't just let go. I need the proof. I have seen things that really are bad enough, yet I just can't quit until I know for a fact. I feel I need to give my best effort even if he is a con artist. I just want to find out to have peace with myself to move on and to know that I stuck it out. However, in the meanwhile, I want to plan in my mind how to live without him.How do you just sit back and wait to see if your suspicions are true?
women can tell when the relationship is in trouble their intuitions warn them. sometimes u never catch them, but u know just the same. best to focus on u first, get a plan and be prepared to leave when u find out the truth, but most men will lie right to your face. if i even thought my husband was cheating i wouldn't say a word i would follow him or have him followed and then i would know.How do you just sit back and wait to see if your suspicions are true?
From my experiences what we feel and think is what is going on. Don't just sit back, go thru everything, text messages, emails the pockets of his pants, look in his car ect... Find what you are looking for and if you don't still no harm done.... you need to protect you first...If he go's on computer look at history, you can also get a tracking device to see what he has been on if he erases stuff.... girl don't let this go, good luck to you, follow him if you have to, or have a friend he does not know hit on him and see how he reacts....
you remind me of myself and what i have been through i used to get 90% proof but never 100% actual proof





i decided to let go and let the universe reveal to me in a definite way and to work on myself and build up my self esteem because regardless of what was really or not really happening i was making myself sick and very unattractive to myself and my partner





living that suspicious way is terrible very very painful and a waste of your life get into life become a bit mysterious yourself not so available to your partner throw him off make him wonder what you amy possibly be up to





good luck
Women who say this always know the answer, but for some reason, like to torture themselves. Come on, you think more of yourself than that, don't you?!





You don't really need proof. You already have it.





Move on and live life. It's way too short to piss away.
Depends on what you already know,i know the feelings ur having i have been there with ex's.It is a horrible feeling. It's ahrd to answer ur question in entirety because not much info.
Get solid evidence , take him to court and take him for everything you can!
hire a private investigator.and just sit back and let him do the work.
It sounds like you need a Private Eye to do some research for you.
just julie
I give you a whole lot of credit. From what you said here, you are dying inside. You obviously have enough to go on, but you just need a little bit more. I hate to be a snake about things, but while you are sitting around getting your heart torn out how about making sure that you get some money out of the account, a new piece of jewelry, some of your favorite things hidden away. The reason I say this is because I too had my heart guaged out by deceit and let too many things get past me while I was being the martyr. My smarter friend that went thru it did what I suggested here and now I wish I had listened to her when she told me to do it.... My ex hurt me bad and also ended up with the best of just about everything we had! Good Luck....
There will always be times in your life where you will not get the answer. As hard as it is to move on with out closure you need to decided what you believe, because chances are if there are secrets you will never fully get the truth. It's not always better to have all the answers. As crappy as it seems you need to remind yourself that whether he went all the way and cheated on you or not you are worth more than what he's giving you. And if you believe that you deserve to be treated better then you need to do your very best to move on, make the choice to no longer play the victim in his games. He has you hooked.


I was in the same situation with my ex. I had plenty of evidence pointing to the fact that was cheating on me but I never had anything that slapped me in the face and made me say okay it's real it's not just harmless flirting like he said. And then one day I was sitting at home with our kids while he was having a ';boys night out'; with a female co-worker who he was ';just helping'; bc she was having problems with her husband. My eyes opened and realized it was absolutely ridiculous for me to be sitting back taking it. Whether he was cheating or not no longer matter all that mattered was that I deserved to be treated better.


You have to make the choice and conscious effort not to dwell on what you don't know but base your decisions on what you do know. If you're not happy with the secrets, lack of respect, deception, and heartache then leave. Go find someone who's worthy of your love. He's not the only man out there who will love you.
Honestly Julie, if you are having suspicions chances are you are probably right and its just a matter of time before you get proof. I went through this kind of thing before with a few people in the past and everytime i was right. I ended it immediately, shed many tears and moved forward. I just couldnt wait to get heartbroken even more when deep down inside i always knew the answer. Sometimes we love someone so much we are afraid to let go and get hurt. But honestly, its not worth the mental pain. Peace of mind is so important. To this day, i never regretted leaving any of these men i had doubts or suspicions with and i ve learned alot from these experiences. I finally met a really good man and i know he's a good man b/c of the past experiences with losers. So use this time or experience as a tool for future relationships. The red flags are just that RED...meaning to alert you and your body can detect these signs. Its a way for us to get out now before its too late. Listen to your instincts and waiting around for proof or facts will be time consuming and eat away at your health mentally and spiritually. Its not worth it.

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