Why are these things on my mind (I just want to not care like a normal person)?

I'm sorry, I've written about these things separately before, but I finally realized what I want to ask.





I'm confused, because I can't seem to get some stuff out of my head.





When I was little my mom used to take one of my brothers and me to play at this house with another girl. This is mortifying, she was actually a bit younger than me, but she scared me. She'd always tell my brother and me take off our clothes and stuff; my brother said no and told my mom each time. However, one time my brother wasn't there and she told me to do it. I didn't want to, but she used some threat which freaked me out at the time and she wouldn't let me leave the room, I guess I just hadn't learned to stand-up for myself yet. Afterward she said if I didn't play with her she'd tell my mom what I'd done. I'm ashamed and creeped out.





Another time when I was younger I woke up to my oldest brother and his friends in my room. My brother was moving my pajama bottoms (and that's all I remember). I don't remember caring at the time, but it bothers me now. My brother doesn't respect boundaries, so I guess that wasn't out of the norm then. Once I got older I realized that it wasn't normal for him to always beat me up and for him to always say such cruel this to me or to walk in on me in the washroom, but as a kid I was just used to my parents telling him not to hit and then moving on (I think they were so lost on how to control him that that's all they could do). Those things weren't meant to be sexual, but they are weird to me because he was enough older than me to know better.





I know it's stupid, but these things bug me. I don't understand why I was such a doormat as a child, and the thing with the other girl bothers me greatly, because to this day I faint when I hear about certain body parts. I've never told anyone about the stuff I wrote above, and I'm so mad at myself because if I were stronger they wouldn't secretly bother me. Why do you think they're even on my mind? It makes no sense and I just wish I could purge them from my brain.





Thank you for your time.Why are these things on my mind (I just want to not care like a normal person)?
well if those things happen to me i think i would still be thinking about it so i think that's normal.





I would say go talk to someone that you trust and know wont judge you because it might help you get it off your mind.Why are these things on my mind (I just want to not care like a normal person)?
You need to talk to somebody and get your feelings out.
Tell your parents what your brother did.


Put a lock on your bedroom and your bathroom.


Every person needs boundaries and if others don't respect yours... lock them out!


Thinking about all of these things is very normal. You're just trying to make sense of them.


A professional counselor could be of great value to you. I'd advise getting counseling now. It will help you to make sense of things are you get older.


No one is usually strong enough to keep the wolves away from you until you're much older. Even then, sometimes it's difficult because you want to trust, especially family members and some times you just can't. You are very normal. Normal minds Do think of these things but you need some help with it all. Please, tell you mother/father... and if they don't listen, tell your school counselor or anyone who will listen. Keeping these things secret will only continue to eat you up... so it's good that you put it all in print here! Very brave of you!!! Keeping secrets only keeps the abuse going! Tell, tell, tell!!! God bless you!
First of all I don't think it's abnormal at all for this to be bothering you at this point. Of course you are hurt, frightened, and wondering why this happened to you, that is normal, you are normal. You need to speak with a therapist, a professional. You need to learn to put this behind you and move forward with your life, to empower yourself. Please don't beat yourself up over what you so-called 'allowed' to happen when you were a child, you WERE a CHILD. I doubt you had the ability to allow anything, you were abused. Both by your brother with his inappropriate behavior and by that weird little bully girl. Seek help and stop blaming yourself. You're grown now and have the opportunity to take back the life that is yours.
Hi there,


You are very brave opening up like that. I think maybe you could look at the possibility of talking to a counsellor or psychiatrist and work on them with a professional.


Good luck with your issues and I hope you get to the bottom of it.


:) Kind Regards
WOW...that's kind of interesting and creepy at the same. Anyway, just learn to stick up for yourself and try to think of all the possible explenations you can, if you keep letting stuff like that bother you your mentality could probably worsen, and you don't want that...do you?